Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Words…

Posted: July 15, 2017 in Current
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The unspoken words…

From a young age, we learn words and their meanings.  We are taught proper pronunciation and effective use of words, and the importance of communication in every aspect in life on a daily basis.  Words are the building blocks of expression, the peacemakers or the declaration of war, and collectively single words start forming sentences and paragraphs.  Yet, here I struggle to find the correct words, sentences, paragraphs to make a single statement.  I know what I feel and I know what I want to say, but I am tongue-tied and barely stutter a single noun at a time. I find myself repeating the same message, yet it feels like I did not express it correctly.

Why is it so difficult?  Is it because I know the words cannot relief pain or stress?  Is it because words might not seem sincere enough?  Perhaps the words don’t justify my intentions.  All I know is what filled my brain, got stuck in my throat.

And what if ‘it comes out wrong’?  What if it is misinterpreted?  What if my words fail and fill you with disappointment?  Yet, silence unfortunately communicate as well.  And often, it can convey the total opposite.  So, here I find myself in a dilemma where I have so much to say, but in fear that it will add to your burden, I keep silent.

The screaming silence…

Full Moon

Unnoticed, trying to light up the journey

At night, like the moon, I watch over you from a distance, caring and trying to eliminate any shadow that might be cast in your path.  Illuminate as much as possible for you to know I am near; to know I care; to know that you do not need to ask, I will be there – always and forever.  During the day, like the sun to give you warmth; to have the golden light reflect from nature’s beauty to fill your eyes with serenity and happiness.  This never-ending cycle is the easiest to explain it. Time is irrelevant because day or night, I will be there for you.

Whenever you feel it gets too much, I am present and close-by.  When you wish to vent or need someone just to know you are not alone, I am there.  When you need a listening ear to try and get your mind off every day hassles, you will have my undivided attention. and whenever you smile, that magic will be a lasting memory.  Your happiness will relfect the moon bigger and brighter and the sun brighter than ever before. Date or time is irrelevant.  Size or subject does not matter.  I am a decision away.

If you want to scream till your voice fade, or need a shoulder as support just to remind you that are and never will be alone, you never need to look far.  There are many sayings about words, but one that comes to mind is the famous quote: “Actions speaks louder than words”.  And as my words fail to express, may my actions and intentions be my unspoken, timeless oath to you.

 

 

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My Promise…

Posted: July 11, 2017 in BloggingHoliX, Current
Tags: ,

Life is full of surprises: sometimes good surprises; and then surprises you wish you never had.  My life is filled with them; good and bad; but for the last few years I have realised that the good surprises unequivocally supercede the bad.  And this is where I begin…

It is not a fairytale and it is not a myth.

It is a simple truth.

A blessing in more ways than one

and when you find such a gem,

what do you do?

You allow it to shine;

you allow it to be the best they can be.

 

This is my promise to you.

Waves may be crashing around you

and bashing you from side to side;

and while I have no powers to calm the waters,

I will be by your side

every single breath you take.

Every time you think you are all alone

in this mass of endless ocean,

I will be a whisper away,

reminded you of this promise I make to you.

You are stronger than you think;

You are greater than you believe;

You are more important than you can imagine.

 

A pearl of purity

pump through your veins

making you an island of grace

more often than not

saving me from myself

You will not falter

you will not fail

because wherever you direct your eyes

I will be there for you

no empty promise

no compromise

no strings attached

a simple promise I make to you

to keep close to your heart

and always remember

that no matter how hard this journey is

I will be there for you

 

So often we ask ourselves what life is all about or what your purpose in life is.  To say life is complicated, will be an understatement.  Life is NOT predictable!  Life often confuses us because we do not understand something.  Life is puzzling at times; often pushing us to the limits (or it feels that way).  Yet, we continue…

They define a puzzle as a problem designed in the form of a toy or game to test ingenuity or knowledge.  And life, my dear friend, is nothing less than a puzzle.  Your life is an evolving jigsaw puzzle.

Now, a jigsaw puzzle is described as a tiling puzzle that you need to assemble by putting together multiple ‘oddly-shaped’ interlocking and tessellating pieces.  Each piece contains a small part of a picture on it and all of them assembled produces a complete picture.

A jigsaw puzzle can even be 2D or even 3D.  It can be 100 pieces or 15000 pieces.  A jigsaw puzzle can be any shape or size.  The subject of the jigsaw puzzle is only limited to your imagination.

Isn’t life exactly that?  Little bits and pieces in time we juggle around to fit snuggly together.  We cannot predict how long it will take us to complete this evolutionary jigsaw and we cannot control the process completely.

Some people may attempt to finish the edges off first and then work their way inwards, whilst others may start in the middle.  Some may even complete little clusters of detail and fill in the minor details afterwards.  Irrespective of which route you take, none of them are wrong, and the result will still be the same – a complete picture.

Think back at the last time you sat down and worked on a puzzle.  How many times did you take a piece and rotate it repeatedly with the hope that it fits?  Other times, by luck, you picked the right piece and it fit immediately; sometimes you put the correct piece aside because you didn’t rotate the piece correctly.

The more I think about it, the more I believe life really is an evolving, 3D, million-piece jigsaw puzzle.  Sometimes you think the right person/situation came along and fit ‘just there’, just to be reminded with a broken heart and scars that it is not the case.  Other times the opposite is possible too where you push away a great person you love and cherish, but because of their importance, you put it aside as you do not want to take that slim chance that you are wrong.

Either way, life is a puzzle in progress.

From my experience, I know I have lost great opportunities because I would rather be hurting than to disappoint someone a care about.  But all is not gloomy!  As the one piece is placed, it created a space for new developments.  A prime example is because if the ‘bad’ didn’t happen, I would not have had the opportunity to experience the great people in my life.  This range from my current employment to people in my life.  Every person; every circumstance; every memory.  It all forms part of your unique jigsaw puzzle.

You were given the puzzle pieces which can vary and you were given time – an underrated, priceless commodity!  At the end, what you do with these pieces and your will to try and try again, will ultimately define your puzzle.

Will you sit with a completed jigsaw puzzle, or will you end up with a heap of unused puzzle pieces and empty holes in your puzzle?

We need to realise that life is a puzzle assembled piece by piece and that every experience, person and memory forms part of the puzzle whether we like it or not.  It all forms part of the complete puzzle: the bigger picture.

Whether it is lost friendships; gained relationships, loving someone wholehearted and yet, they will never know, or being on the other side of the coin of wondering; all forms part of your puzzle.  At times, you might wonder if you force a puzzle piece in a slot because you want it there, what the repercussions may be.  A single puzzle piece has multiple sides and forcing it to try and fit where it should not be, will exponentially affect your puzzle.

Our puzzles might be unique, but we all have received a time as a measure.  A second is a second is a second; no matter where in the world or in which century you live.  But appreciate each piece in your life.  Cherish the cornerstones of your existence.  Invest in the time commodity as the dividends will pay off when you complete and showcase your jigsaw puzzle.

What will yours look like at the end? Will it be of such importance that others will showcase it long after you are gone?

Life is filled with constants and variables: things we can change and things we can’t – notions defines as absolute or relational to…While some might say it is keeping life interesting, it is not always a walk in the park. Others even resolve to manipulation in an attempt to control the variables in life.

The last few weeks, I frequently found myself reflecting on events, circumstances, consequences, and choices (sometimes even misinterpreted) that I have made.  My whole life is filled with variables, with time being the only constant value.

Space is a variable that we live in and that we create – whether it is visible (like your home or garden) or fictional (in the mind’s eye).  Your circle of friends is a self-made fictional space and you tend to decide how big or small the circle is and who you allow in that circle.  At the same time, giving someone space to either reflect on something or to enable that person to find inner peace, isn’t always verbally communicated.  More often than not, it is seen as an uncaring characteristic.

Having enough respect for someone to sacrifice your own happiness in order to ensure their happiness is not just a sign of a loving heart, but also of pure intentions.  Space does not mean you are unreachable.  Many believe that a good friend is always with you are parties and clubbing.  Isn’t a true friend to speak the truth, irrespective of whether you would like to hear it or not?  Isn’t a friend the one that will give up their life for you in a heartbeat?

Even friends are variables in life.  You might argue and say that friends should be defined as a constant in life.  But hear me out…
Some friends come and go.  Others stay put.  The amount of friends differs often.  Even the quality of friends change.  Friendship, as is love, is like a fruit tree.  You water it, nourish it and protect it against the cold and in return you receive fruits and shade protecting you from the harsh elements.  A healthy give-and-take relationship: never one-sided.

Circumstances are variables often forced upon you, and sometimes it is just the result and consequences of decisions and/or actions.  Some decisions can change your whole life – for better or worse.

The variables in life are endless whether self-made or force upon.  There are people trying to manipulate anyone or anything in an attempt to control a variable, but not with lasting results.

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Picture by Gerd Altmann

Even though a moment in time can be a fraction of a second, or years, time is our only true constant measurement tool.  What have you done with your time?  What have you accomplished in your life?

Years ago, I made the greatest mistake in my life:  a decision I made changed the course of my life forever.  Consequences of my decisions and actions have been a bitter pill to swallow.  But the pain is bearable and accompanied by what I have learned from my mistakes.  A person learns to adjust and adapt.

Variables are not always loom and gloom.  Variables, even though a form of uncertainty, can be positive too.  New experiences and new challenges and goals often reward a person more than what you would expect.  Appreciation is often a great gift!

I think what I am trying to say is to use time as your measurement tool.  Make every moment count.  Appreciate a single moment.  Cherish a whole lifetime.  Time is all you have.  Use the time to tell someone you miss them or you love them.  Use the time you have to walk through your garden and appreciate the miracles.  Treasure the time you have with a friend because it might be the last opportunity you may have.

I have wasted too much time unnecessarily.  Don’t make the mistakes I made.  If you have a split second to tell someone how much you care or love them, use it!  Tomorrow, things might change.  Time is a gift!  Time is a miracle!  Don’t let it slip away!

Being Single…

Posted: January 14, 2017 in Current
Tags: , , , ,

Many would believe that being single is all fun and games… others believe there is either something wrong with you or you may be gay or lesbian… Yet very few people actually believe being single is as normal as being in a relationship.

Being single is not an easy way out where it is all partying up storms and having the time of your life!  It is just as hard as the efforts a person needs to put into a successful relationship.  The only support you have, is yourself.

More often than not, friendships perish because ‘it is an inconvenience to invite someone that is not married or have a partner’.  Sadly, it is a very familiar occurrence, yet when assistance or support is needed, people preferably contact their ‘single’ friends than their friends in relationships, because I think, for that brief moment of their weakened state of mind, they already know that single people will look after and support you as a friend – no questions asked, and they will not have to feel like the outcast in the crowd.

Thinking and believing that being single is  easy, cannot be further from the truth.  I cannot declare that I know all the reasons why some people stay single, but I know from my own experience, that it can be a single reason, or a multitude of reasons.  I will share with you some of my experiences and why I will probably always stay single.

Sometimes you get your heart broken so many times that you are not sure that what you have left, is enough to share with someone, with the chance that it can be broken again.  When you put everything you have in a relationship to make it work, and then later on all your efforts gets flushed down a toilet effortlessly, it breaks your motivation to try again.

Yet we often do try again and often we do succeed.  Some people have met their greatest treasures through the school of life and is destined to grow old together.  But like the hunt of a cheetah, so often than not, is the hunt unsuccessful.

It is even possible to have lost the greatest treasure in your life and you cannot attempt to chase a relationship if you have not forgiven yourself yet.  Forgiveness is not a quick and easy solution.  Sometimes it takes a lot more effort and time.

Of course it is also possible that you do not find what you are looking for.  Being realistic, you can still upkeep you standards and not forsake your standards just to be in a mere relationship to make others happy.  Why compromise your beliefs when you might still find that perfect one for you?

Why am I still single?

In my case, I can categorically state that I carry a lot of baggage (as we all have I suppose).  I have been blessed with the greatest partners in my past and they set the standards high, and I will always cherish them for that.  I have made mistakes and for some of my mistakes, I cannot forgive myself, and until I can, I will not allow someone to suffer because of me and the broken person I am.  I have been broken by lies and deceit and I am still mending the puzzle pieces of a shattered soul.  For this reason do I not easily allow people close to me.  That of course already burden a possible relationship and even friendships.

Have I ever thought that there is someone out there for me?   I have, but unfortunately because of the aforementioned, and because these people I truly believe are the greatest gifts in my life, I have pushed away in an attempt to avoid their disappointment in me.  I am not phased about the public eye and what they think of me, I am a mere stranger, but for these few people in my life, I will do my utmost best to support and ensure they have the best they possibly can.  Even if I sacrifice one happiness for the greater good.

Just as relationships need work and adjusting and compromise, don’t think for a moment that being single is any less hard work and sacrifices.  Sometimes you sacrifice the best you ever had, to ensure their happiness.

Just as single people respect people in relationships, isn’t it just fair not to forget your single friends and not throw them to the wolves and to just assume that they are worthless?

If we seek paradise outside ourselves, we cannot have paradise in our hearts. – Thomas Merton

 

 

 

ProteaSome of us like summer, while other prefer winter.  Some love the the newly-sprouted in the early spring; others love the summer rains; others love the snowtop mountains; and other love the autumn-orange of fallen leaves.

But there is a purpose to the different seasons.  Veld fires caused by lightning during the summer rains create space for new life.  Decaying leaves from autumn replenish the soil with nutrients and act as compost. And with every passing season, we learn something new.  Never a dull moment in the school of life!

Friendships are very much the same.  You are more fond of some than others.  Some scorch you.  Some will leech onto you like a parasite.  Others pick you up and stand by you.  Some friends act as leaves and others act as the tree itself.  Many shapes and sizes; many reasons; many possibilities. All happens for a reason.  Some friendships will be with you every step of the way.  They will photosynthesize and be the air you breathe.  Some will cast a shade over you to protect you from the elements.  Some will whsisper inspiration into your ears as the wind rustles through their branches.  Some will cushion your steps as you slowly take careful steps into your future.
Even lost friendships that has past, will have left a lasting impression.  A parasite will have left scare-tissue, but it would’ve made you stronger. Fallen leaves would have had an input in your growth.  A standing tree will be there to support you when you wanted to lie down.  Some will blossom and you will admire the beauty and their charismatic aroma.

As seasons pass, you will have lost many; but gained as well.  Sometimes you would’ve lost the best.  And yes! Sometimes you will find an irreplacable treasure.  But I think it is important to realize that as much as these people are important in your life, you need to be a postive input in their life as well.

Let luscious grass grow underneath your treetop for when your friend needs to lay their head down and let the tree top spread wide over them to protect them from the harsh sun and heavy hail and winds; Be the tree they can lean on when they are tired;  Let your autumn leaves gentle cover the soil and replace nurtients and minerals.  Photosynthesize good quality fresh air for your friend to be able to breathe when panic surrounds them.

The saying goes: “good friends are hard to find” and “the best things in life a free”.  So realize the wealth you have in your friends. Love them for who they are and what they mean to you.