Posts Tagged ‘Hope’

The Unforgettable Moment

Posted: July 11, 2016 in Current
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Life is an ocean filled with ebb and flow tides – filled with good and bad experiences.  We accept it as we understand it forms part of our school of life.  Sometimes we feel like quitting, and other times we wish time would pause for a moment – just to soak in the greatness of a memory in the making.

I believe that my purpose in life is simply trying to make other people smile.  At times it works, and other times it fails miserably.  Good intentions aren’t always received in the fancy wrapping you pictured in your mind.  I am very particular to see the people in my life to be happy (as much as possible) and if something is hindering a friend, I always try to be there for them to lean on or just to listen.  The aim is to be there for them; assure them they are not alone and do not always have to carry their load alone.  I will be there – irrespective of time, place or circumstances.  And the reason is because I care.

But sometimes, it is not an easy task – impossible even, but you attempt nonetheless.  And then…

You experience something you didn’t expect.

With a tough week behind them, you know a friend, strong and able, put up a brave face to avoid nagging questions and attempts to ‘make them feel better’.  But magic happened before my eyes!

Her eyes lit up and sparkled like diamonds! Her face glowed as her beautiful smile appeared!  I was in awe!  Her energy was revived and you could see she was at a place in her mind where she needed to be!  A place where her heart and mind joined!

What did I do to accomplish this?  Nothing.  Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for it.  The miracle working was a child, and it made me wonder how such a small creature can accomplish so much with no effort and little time.  The answer was staring me in the face without me knowing it.

Truth, honesty and a pure heart!  This little one wasn’t fake or attempted to crack a smile for her own benefit.  She was simply honest, truthful and herself.  While she was working her magic, I found myself constantly stare at my friend’s eyes and smile and at the end I found myself speechless – scared to taint the beautiful moments they share.

Maybe that is what adults lack?  Perhaps we are so used to overcomplicate things.  I think we have so much to learn from the little ones, we just never make the time to sit down and actually look and listen.  Humans have the tendency to always work at an angle to see how they can benefit.

Maybe we should take a few steps back and start with the basics again.  Be truthful!  Be honest!  Be yourself!  Be the support pillar because you want to be – with no hidden agendas.  Be the listening ear that listens and absorbs and not attempt to throw back intelligent-sounding answers.  Allow your friend to rant and rave.  Give a hug because you wish to absorb some of their pain and not because you want them to be in your debt.

Make space in your life to be a child and adult alike.  Just give it your all.  Be there for who you really are.  Be respectful of others’ feelings and accept that sometimes you can’t fix things.  but also remember that it is easier to be truthful and honest.  Make space in your heart to fill a section with the characteristics of a child!

 

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Disabled By Our Own Abilities

Posted: January 1, 2016 in Current
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We are quick to define someone as a disabled person just by certain characteristics.  Blind by eyesight; deaf by hearing; paraplegic by the loss of the use of limbs.  All conveniently categorized to make it easy to define someone’s ‘disability/impairment’.

Imagine you find yourself in pitch black darkness, not being able to see your own hand in front of your face.  Imagine a deafening silence while waking up early in the morning and walking on the beach.  Now, imagine spending a whole day without any of your senses or use of them.

Yet, “abled bodied” people are more concerned about how awkward it feels to stand next to a blind person while commuting or stare when a deaf couple use sign language to communicate.  What makes abled bodied people any more a human being than another?  A woman is not less of a human because she is female; superiority is not defined by race.  Where is the divide?

‘Abled bodied’ people’s disability is in their abilities! With 20:20 vision, we are blind to see the beauty in life – people and nature.  With perfect hearing, we hear but do not listen to a single word!  We are so obsessed with the abnormalities of others, that we forget to live!  To make it worse, here are some thoughts to ponder on:

  • There are no effective policies to provide a quality education to children with a disability (source: http://www.globalpartnership.org).
  • It is estimated that 90% of children with disabilities in the developing world do not go to school.(source: http://www.globalpartnership.org) Only a fraction of this percentage will successfully find a job.
  • To purchase textbooks to further studies or your career, standard print is readily available. Braille is only available on request with very limited suppliers.  Braille print, or the converters are extremely expensive.
  • One can find a standard vehicle easily for acceptable prices, yet to apply modifications to such a car to cater for a disabled is almost impossible to afford.
  • In South Africa, sign language is one of the top 10 ‘languages’ used, yet it is not part of the 11 official languages.

It is clear that most businesses do not even consider catering for a small group of people, because there will not be an adequate profit margin.  The question I pose to these business owners and governments:  How can someone afford the necessary tools to make a living and add value in the commercial world of the a country, if there are no support since the school career right through to their adulthood?  I am not saying I have the solution to it all, but surely awareness to such a matter needs to be raised!

I have learnt such a great deal from the so-called disabled or ‘impaired bodies’.  Use what is given to you and appreciated every experience and moment, as you will never have a second chance to experience that specific moment.  People that have been thrown to the wolves, yet, they never complain, and they live each day for the blessing it is!  People that listen to your energy and your body language; blind people seeing more than many of us; paraplegics doing the extra mile… Because they can and they are willing and able!  You get no judgement and more respect from a single disabled person, than a full train of ‘abled commuters’.

Dedicated to a fallen angel, Trudie Arndt, with a heart as big as life itself.  A person we all came to love and respect. A person we all could learn a lot from.  A new year has come and past, but your lasting impressions will always be embedded in our hearts.

The sun arose from the east and gently grazed over the lands.  It heated up the water to create little clouds.  The clouds build stronger and stronger.  The clouds turn dark and roll over the skies.  The heavens then opened up and rain comes pouring down.

Some creatures run to find shelter under a tree and lean against the bark; waiting impatiently for the rain to disappear.  As dusk covers covers the horizon and the clouds dissipates, the creatures decide to continue on their journey.

As the stars break through the evaporating clouds, the the moonlit pathways are there for the taking to continue ones journey to the destination you have chosen.

It this ordinary scenario I pictured above, lies one of lifes greatest challenges – not seeing the bigger picture!  I find myself where I am not sure which step to take, to move forward, and in this struggle I realized two things: assumptions are not always correct; and sometimes you have to try and picture multiple points of views with regards to a situation and/or circumstances.

The scenery I described is very simple and very ordinary: it is nature and I will describe the major elements I wish to bring my point across:

The sun is not rising to burn you, but merely providing the necessary rays for flowers to open their blossoms to attract insects and thus ensuring the growth of the species.  It even provides Vitamin D.  The clouds that formed, was not to drench you right through and get you sick, but it was to wash away the dust, clearing the air and to assist in the growth and existence of life.

The tree wasn’t something in your path, but provided protection and comfort.  And with that, seedlings were spread to wider areas.  When the clouds evaporated, it made space for the stars and the moon to shine a soft light on the world: soft  enough for one to sleep, yet bright enough for you to find your way.

I have taken a chance, and I opened my arms wide for you; exposing my heart.  I want you close and I want to wrap my arms around you.  I want to be the tree that protect; and if you allow that, I will be embraced with your energy feeding me like the sun, the water and the earth.

Even though day turned into night, it doesn’t mean the sun has left you.  I created an environment for you to regroup, get rest, and take on life the following day.  So when I give you space, it is not because I am pushing you away, but merely my effort to give you and your circumstances a chance and time to resolve.  When it rains, it is because I want to wash away your pain. When the moon shines, I want you to feel safe.

But, assumptions are flooding into my brain and it makes it difficult to keep a clear mind. I am reaching out to you, but your crossed arms and clutched fists do not move an inch, and doubt sets deeper – so deep that I am starting to miss the multiple points of views any scenario will have.  As you push me away, it feels like a crater that hit the earth… all empty without your presence, and yet you have left a lasting impression in my life.

I am grasping and hoping, but if the sun and the rain never appear, my hope and dreams will wilt away.  With every shooting star I see, I make the same wish over and over again… I am fighting, but forced to my knees.  Tears clogging up my views into haziness of uncertainty.

In life, we received the freedom and privilege to make choices, and yes, sometimes we don’t make the right choices.  However, we have the right to make choices.  We can choose what we want to do; we can choose how to address things; we can choose what we having for dinner. Yet, sometimes, inexplicably and unintentional, choices are taken away from you – for whatever reasons.  Sometimes fear of hurting someone, will drive your decisions to avoid talking about things; other times people will lie… these are little things that have the power taking your choices away from you.

I have chosen to love; I have chosen to be a true friend, but my choices were in vain as they have decided to decline my friendship and support – they chose not to see the tree, feel the rain, be comforted by the moonlight.  Even though they have elected to give up, and even though I can’t change that, I know that I cannot give up this time.  I will be as visible as stars during the day, watching over you, wishing the best for you, and  you will never realize it.

A Rose On The Prairie.

Posted: August 7, 2013 in Current
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On the cracked mud surface, a seedling found its way to this banished world.  It shot root in these miniscule cracks.  For its small and new existence, the soil and little moist that was left, nourished the little miracle – a rose in the middle of the prairie.

Beyond this however, is a harsh landscape where very little can survive these conditions. Water does not flow here and has been this way for a long time.  The past and the sun depleted the nutrients from the ground.  Only despair and grief thrives here.

Will you grow strong and tall? Or will you wilt away with no trace that you ever existed?  Your survival is very much in doubt. It is a double edged sword: never was your existence epected – even more so that you sprouted and rooted yourself here; but as you grow in body, you need more to survive and flourish.  Will this place and what it has to offer you, be enough for you to become the vibrant blossom you were destined to be?

Night after night, I see shooting stars, giving me ample opportunities to change my wishes, hopes and dreams.  Yet, I always find myself wishing for the same simple thing over and over again: to one day see this rose in full blossom – an oasis of blooming colours and not a mere mirage.

Tonight is a beautiful night. However, I am not stargazing but actually looking for answers.  Subconsciously, I know I will not find it there, and yet I keep on staring hopeful.  As this idea floats in my mind, it reminded me of the lyrics of a song performed by Snow Patrol and the title of the song is Chasing Cars.  I am not going to quote the whole song but literally only the following phrase: “I don’t quite know how to say how I feel… Those three words are said too much or not enough.”

Briefly: communication is an act, intentional or unintentional, in a linguistic or non-linguistic form, where information of any kind, are exchanged between parties. Source; message; receiver! It is so simple, yet we achieve the incredible by screwing up something this basic by complicating it multiple-folds – making it more difficult than it should be. However, many forms of communication are much smaller; less obvious – yet more important in my opinion.

Little do we realize it, but communication stretch to a Nano- or micro level too – which I am still trying to figure out which part of me is controlling the communication channels.  You look at someone and get lost in his or her eyes. This beautiful intoxicating sight is transmitted to the brain by electrical pulses.  Your brain decodes, calculate and design a response.  Then…  Your hands become sweaty; you battle to breathe; your heart skips a beat; you stand there like a damn fool not knowing what to say.  The information sent back and forth, did not get lost, the response came through in a form you cannot control. If you lucky, the person will realize this, as we all experience these things eventually in our lifetime.  The more powerful the message, the less control you have over it.

What is worse?  Is it the cheesy pick-up line at the bar; or the silent admiration across the room?  Is it telling someone that you love them, just to realize that the feeling is not mutual or not telling them and they move on as you are “not into them”?  Or how about assuming that someone will know that you missed them; or that they look breathtakingly amazing and because of that you do not whisper a word of this to them?

In life, you always reach crossroads in the form of choices.  However, what you decide to be the best for you, might not be the same to another.  How many times do you find yourself in a predicament where you said too much; or too little for that matter? How many times are you waiting for an answer, and the awkward silence following becomes the answer.  Is it the actual message or the timing of giving the message that is important?  On the other hand, is it the actions that are overwhelming the words? Is it the deeper connection between two people or is it all of the above or the absence of them all?

My question does not lie with the uncontrollable responses and / or communication, but rather with the responses we can control.

The human heart is a small organ and not bulletproof, yet it is where life begins – with that very first heartbeat even before you are born; and somehow, it is where our love finds itself too.  Look at an expecting mother’s facial expression when she hears that fast-paced heartbeat at the doctor’s offices.  Without any words, the face of that mother-to-be says so many things.  The non-linguistic communication that says so many things.

Just as the heart is secured and protected by the ribcage, so did I protect myself from the world outside.  I showed as little emotions as possible as I thought it was a sign of weakness.  What I was doing, was not protecting it, but constraining it from living! That was the past, and with a few pushes and shoves by people, I slowly opened up.  I am brutally honest when I say I do not want to be who I was in the past.  The idea of who I was in the past haunts me. Somewhere I heard a saying of ‘it is not what it is, but what it becomes that is important’. I hope that it is true and hopefully I have learned from my mistakes.

With some freedom, the heart can be set free to communicate in a beat to the rhythm of life and love.  Be open to experience the sensation of a beautiful smile, a warm hug, a gentle kiss and serenity of gorgeous eyes. Misunderstandings are a fancy term for broken communication and it destroys relationships just too easily in our lifetimes.  Communicate your message on all possible levels to a person by means of words and actions.  Say ‘I care about you’, ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you’, and do not stop there!  Show it to them!  Be the shoulder to lean on; be the smile to try and cheer someone up; be the messenger of hope.  Be the action of the story you tell. I miss you, loved one

We always experience something virtuous or something unscrupulous on a daily basis.  It is like the Yin and Yang in eastern philosophies. Unfortunately, it is not something you always have control of.

The worthy and /or debauched, people experience on a daily basis differs from person to person.

You are awakened by the clock alarm in the morning, but you enjoy those ‘snooze’-moments for a little while.  As you still steal those five minutes sleep, you turn your head and you look at the peaceful face of a loved one.  When you eventually have to get up, you prepare that fresh aroma, steaming coffee.  You take your coffee, open the curtains, sits on your favourite couch and admire the beautiful sunrise – highlighting the beauty of spring.  In the matter of a few moments, there are a multitude great moments experienced.

There are some moments even more precious.  Just imagine that first kiss, or falling in love; or realizing how much you care about someone; or the soft caring touch of someone that makes your heart race.  A great moment unrivaled is the feeling of hopes and the possibility of making your dreams a reality.

A feeling I will never get enough of, is when I realize that someone took the time and patience to sneak past the walls I built myself to protect my heart from people getting closer; just to realize that they are so embedded in your heart and mind that you will feel empty without them.  Imagine that unexpected hug to sonsole you or just for no apparent reason from someone you trust and respect. Visualize that warm feeling you experience when you see someone’s eyes see deep within you; or when they give you that little smile saying “I am watching you and I like every moment of it”.

And as time ticks by, we experience many obstacles that makes life real difficult.  Some of us sit in traffic for hours, but that is the our daily commute to work.  Road rage and anger fills our minds.  Others writing exams and some even failed (frequently  induced by circumstances), and even to a point by quitting their education and hopes for a better future.  Hearts that fall out of love or take for granted what they have, or the awareness of unreturned love are few of the greatest obstacles we experience in life.

Getting played the fool is one of those moments where you aske yourself why you allowed it to happen.  Never getting an answer. And sometimes wondering why you allowed to happen it more than once. And how about putting your faith and believe in someone, and they intentionally abuse your goodhearted and trusting nature to screw you over?

There are more stubborn bad things too, like fighting (verbal or physical) or the simple fact to neglect to apologize.  One great sin is to feel something and not express it –  many times I made this mistake as I was afraid I will disappoint or scare someone.  I had the story I wanted to tell within me, but I gave it no voice – it was as useful as an unopened book.  An uncontrolled downside to life is death.  We have no control over it, and it always pains to see people go through this.

‘It is life’ they say, there will be the good times and there will be the bad times.  However, we might be the poison of our own good – tainting it to be bad.  What I am talking about is choices.  We have the great power of decisions.  Squinting your eyes and turning away from a sunrise, is your choice – but you never realize it might be the last sunrise you see.  Misunderstandings can break friendships and relationships if it is left unresolved.  Celebrating a fallen angel’s life is not disrespectful, but a sign that that person played a great part in your life.  You will still feel the pain, but you will focus your energy on the awesome moments they have created in your life.

Neglecting to tell someone how you feel, might haunt you for the rest of your life if you never get a chance to tell that person again.  Ignoring the love or passion for someone, is a choice and a simple choice like that can mean the world to someone else and that someone that means the world to you, can brighten up your day with the glow of their good moments in their days.

I have turned my back to many brilliant moments in life, but when life pushed me down, I stayed down.  All I had to do, was to make a choice and to turn around and look at the stars.  That is afterall the place where my inspiration, hopes and dreams reside.  The power is in your hands to try and tip the scales into your overflowing prodigious moments.  We received the capacity to think for ourselves, and a lot of things can turn out differently, depending on how you look at it.