Posts Tagged ‘Friendship’

Words…

Posted: July 15, 2017 in Current
Tags: , ,

The unspoken words…

From a young age, we learn words and their meanings.  We are taught proper pronunciation and effective use of words, and the importance of communication in every aspect in life on a daily basis.  Words are the building blocks of expression, the peacemakers or the declaration of war, and collectively single words start forming sentences and paragraphs.  Yet, here I struggle to find the correct words, sentences, paragraphs to make a single statement.  I know what I feel and I know what I want to say, but I am tongue-tied and barely stutter a single noun at a time. I find myself repeating the same message, yet it feels like I did not express it correctly.

Why is it so difficult?  Is it because I know the words cannot relief pain or stress?  Is it because words might not seem sincere enough?  Perhaps the words don’t justify my intentions.  All I know is what filled my brain, got stuck in my throat.

And what if ‘it comes out wrong’?  What if it is misinterpreted?  What if my words fail and fill you with disappointment?  Yet, silence unfortunately communicate as well.  And often, it can convey the total opposite.  So, here I find myself in a dilemma where I have so much to say, but in fear that it will add to your burden, I keep silent.

The screaming silence…

Full Moon

Unnoticed, trying to light up the journey

At night, like the moon, I watch over you from a distance, caring and trying to eliminate any shadow that might be cast in your path.  Illuminate as much as possible for you to know I am near; to know I care; to know that you do not need to ask, I will be there – always and forever.  During the day, like the sun to give you warmth; to have the golden light reflect from nature’s beauty to fill your eyes with serenity and happiness.  This never-ending cycle is the easiest to explain it. Time is irrelevant because day or night, I will be there for you.

Whenever you feel it gets too much, I am present and close-by.  When you wish to vent or need someone just to know you are not alone, I am there.  When you need a listening ear to try and get your mind off every day hassles, you will have my undivided attention. and whenever you smile, that magic will be a lasting memory.  Your happiness will relfect the moon bigger and brighter and the sun brighter than ever before. Date or time is irrelevant.  Size or subject does not matter.  I am a decision away.

If you want to scream till your voice fade, or need a shoulder as support just to remind you that are and never will be alone, you never need to look far.  There are many sayings about words, but one that comes to mind is the famous quote: “Actions speaks louder than words”.  And as my words fail to express, may my actions and intentions be my unspoken, timeless oath to you.

 

 

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My Promise…

Posted: July 11, 2017 in BloggingHoliX, Current
Tags: ,

Life is full of surprises: sometimes good surprises; and then surprises you wish you never had.  My life is filled with them; good and bad; but for the last few years I have realised that the good surprises unequivocally supercede the bad.  And this is where I begin…

It is not a fairytale and it is not a myth.

It is a simple truth.

A blessing in more ways than one

and when you find such a gem,

what do you do?

You allow it to shine;

you allow it to be the best they can be.

 

This is my promise to you.

Waves may be crashing around you

and bashing you from side to side;

and while I have no powers to calm the waters,

I will be by your side

every single breath you take.

Every time you think you are all alone

in this mass of endless ocean,

I will be a whisper away,

reminded you of this promise I make to you.

You are stronger than you think;

You are greater than you believe;

You are more important than you can imagine.

 

A pearl of purity

pump through your veins

making you an island of grace

more often than not

saving me from myself

You will not falter

you will not fail

because wherever you direct your eyes

I will be there for you

no empty promise

no compromise

no strings attached

a simple promise I make to you

to keep close to your heart

and always remember

that no matter how hard this journey is

I will be there for you

 

The night is dark.  Barely any light break through the towering tree tops that create faint silhouettes, but as soon as they appear, are they absorbed in the thick mist covering the forest floor.  A grey, lifeless canvas is all that is left.  The path forward is uncertain, but turning around is not an option.

This is where my thoughts lead me the last while.  The eerie shadows of mistakes from the past.  It is easy to say not to live with regrets, and I understand the thought process behind it.

But ‘What if…’

What if you could time-travel back in time to avoid making a mistake?  How far would you go back?  Would you go back, knowing that it will change your whole future, and erase good memories made after the mistake you wish to fix?

Friends gave me their input, based on their current mindset and circumstances.  Interesting enough, it ranges from friends wishing not to change anything, to friends having specific times in their lives.  This made me realise that we all have a struggle of our own.

The struggle is real.

When I asked myself this question, I would probably try to go back for more than a decade.  Maybe even further back, however, it is more complicated than that.  If I time-travelled to all these years ago, there is no doubt my life would’ve been totally different.  But as we all know, there are consequences to our actions.  If you changed the history affecting your life, you will change your path forward.  If I changed the course of my life, I would’ve gained in certain aspects, but lost in other aspects.

My character would’ve been slightly different as certain experiences help you grow in life, and some things you can only learn from experience.  And let’s be honest, at times we are too proud to learn from other’s mistakes or ask a helping hand.

Unfortunately, one cannot time-travel, and the consequences of our decisions and actions of our past will have changed our lives inevitably.  Our decisions would’ve cost us friends, and gained new ones.  Our professional careers might have been different, or our direction of studies might have been different.

My mistakes have cost me more than what I would admit to, but saying it was only losses would be a lie.  I have gained a lot as well.  I have met new people.  I have met great people BECAUSE I have made the mistakes in the past.

Mistakes come with a cost.  Gaining all I have as a consequence of my mistakes, also came at a price.

Now, imagine the warm smile on someone’s face when they are happy.  Imagine the friendly wrinkles around their eyes when they are content.  Imagine the air filled with the laughter and warmth of their beating heart.  Imagine their comforting voice as they speak.  Imagine that racing heartbeat when you just think of them.  Imagine the excitement of having them in your life.  Imagine how you wish to be there as support them when things go wrong – even if is just a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear.  To know they can rely and depend on you.  Imagine getting good news and talking to them trump the feeling of the good news.

Then imagine…

Then imagine pushing them away because you do not wish to hurt them; you wish not to disappoint them; you wish to keep them safe from your demons.  You watch from afar because you care too deeply and you sacrifice possibly one of your few chances of happiness all to see them happy.  Imagine this burden bearable because you believe they are worth every moment.

We all battle our demons daily.  And with some battles we are victorious and others we have casualties.  The scar tissue remains as the reminder of battles won and lost. It is easy to say not to live with regret, but some say it is not regretting, just lessons learned.  At the end, it boils down to your decision on how you wish to balance it because every single moment of our life, is about choices and that begins a new vicious circle of consequences all over again.

As we meander through our unique ominous wilderness, we know we are not the first or the last to take this journey, yet we feel alone.  The burden adds weights to our feet and at times it feels as if our backs are snapped backwards.  At the end, we all yearn for that ray of sunshine, even if just for a split second.  It gives us hope and we push forward.

The journey continues…

Life is filled with constants and variables: things we can change and things we can’t – notions defines as absolute or relational to…While some might say it is keeping life interesting, it is not always a walk in the park. Others even resolve to manipulation in an attempt to control the variables in life.

The last few weeks, I frequently found myself reflecting on events, circumstances, consequences, and choices (sometimes even misinterpreted) that I have made.  My whole life is filled with variables, with time being the only constant value.

Space is a variable that we live in and that we create – whether it is visible (like your home or garden) or fictional (in the mind’s eye).  Your circle of friends is a self-made fictional space and you tend to decide how big or small the circle is and who you allow in that circle.  At the same time, giving someone space to either reflect on something or to enable that person to find inner peace, isn’t always verbally communicated.  More often than not, it is seen as an uncaring characteristic.

Having enough respect for someone to sacrifice your own happiness in order to ensure their happiness is not just a sign of a loving heart, but also of pure intentions.  Space does not mean you are unreachable.  Many believe that a good friend is always with you are parties and clubbing.  Isn’t a true friend to speak the truth, irrespective of whether you would like to hear it or not?  Isn’t a friend the one that will give up their life for you in a heartbeat?

Even friends are variables in life.  You might argue and say that friends should be defined as a constant in life.  But hear me out…
Some friends come and go.  Others stay put.  The amount of friends differs often.  Even the quality of friends change.  Friendship, as is love, is like a fruit tree.  You water it, nourish it and protect it against the cold and in return you receive fruits and shade protecting you from the harsh elements.  A healthy give-and-take relationship: never one-sided.

Circumstances are variables often forced upon you, and sometimes it is just the result and consequences of decisions and/or actions.  Some decisions can change your whole life – for better or worse.

The variables in life are endless whether self-made or force upon.  There are people trying to manipulate anyone or anything in an attempt to control a variable, but not with lasting results.

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Picture by Gerd Altmann

Even though a moment in time can be a fraction of a second, or years, time is our only true constant measurement tool.  What have you done with your time?  What have you accomplished in your life?

Years ago, I made the greatest mistake in my life:  a decision I made changed the course of my life forever.  Consequences of my decisions and actions have been a bitter pill to swallow.  But the pain is bearable and accompanied by what I have learned from my mistakes.  A person learns to adjust and adapt.

Variables are not always loom and gloom.  Variables, even though a form of uncertainty, can be positive too.  New experiences and new challenges and goals often reward a person more than what you would expect.  Appreciation is often a great gift!

I think what I am trying to say is to use time as your measurement tool.  Make every moment count.  Appreciate a single moment.  Cherish a whole lifetime.  Time is all you have.  Use the time to tell someone you miss them or you love them.  Use the time you have to walk through your garden and appreciate the miracles.  Treasure the time you have with a friend because it might be the last opportunity you may have.

I have wasted too much time unnecessarily.  Don’t make the mistakes I made.  If you have a split second to tell someone how much you care or love them, use it!  Tomorrow, things might change.  Time is a gift!  Time is a miracle!  Don’t let it slip away!

ProteaSome of us like summer, while other prefer winter.  Some love the the newly-sprouted in the early spring; others love the summer rains; others love the snowtop mountains; and other love the autumn-orange of fallen leaves.

But there is a purpose to the different seasons.  Veld fires caused by lightning during the summer rains create space for new life.  Decaying leaves from autumn replenish the soil with nutrients and act as compost. And with every passing season, we learn something new.  Never a dull moment in the school of life!

Friendships are very much the same.  You are more fond of some than others.  Some scorch you.  Some will leech onto you like a parasite.  Others pick you up and stand by you.  Some friends act as leaves and others act as the tree itself.  Many shapes and sizes; many reasons; many possibilities. All happens for a reason.  Some friendships will be with you every step of the way.  They will photosynthesize and be the air you breathe.  Some will cast a shade over you to protect you from the elements.  Some will whsisper inspiration into your ears as the wind rustles through their branches.  Some will cushion your steps as you slowly take careful steps into your future.
Even lost friendships that has past, will have left a lasting impression.  A parasite will have left scare-tissue, but it would’ve made you stronger. Fallen leaves would have had an input in your growth.  A standing tree will be there to support you when you wanted to lie down.  Some will blossom and you will admire the beauty and their charismatic aroma.

As seasons pass, you will have lost many; but gained as well.  Sometimes you would’ve lost the best.  And yes! Sometimes you will find an irreplacable treasure.  But I think it is important to realize that as much as these people are important in your life, you need to be a postive input in their life as well.

Let luscious grass grow underneath your treetop for when your friend needs to lay their head down and let the tree top spread wide over them to protect them from the harsh sun and heavy hail and winds; Be the tree they can lean on when they are tired;  Let your autumn leaves gentle cover the soil and replace nurtients and minerals.  Photosynthesize good quality fresh air for your friend to be able to breathe when panic surrounds them.

The saying goes: “good friends are hard to find” and “the best things in life a free”.  So realize the wealth you have in your friends. Love them for who they are and what they mean to you.

Friendships… A term widely used and often misunderstood. While some friendships are not destined to last, others transform into something better and greater. Some friendships even carry the same weight as family.

The unfortunate truth is that some friendships fade away… Not necessarily because of wrongdoing from a specific party… It just happens. Distance between people grow wider and at the end, it ends up as memories. Others end purely because it was build on fake ideals and empty promises. Some diminish by choice, while others wilt away unnoticed. It is facts that some of these friendships leave an empty space within you as they perish, whilst others don’t affect you as much.

But all is not lost. Some friendships do survive and not only survive but even flourish! Some friendships become a bond that cannot be broken. These friendships are built on trust, truth and mutual respect. Some become so much more.

If there is a friendship you believe is worth fighting for, do it. But if you fail to keep it, acknowledge its value and accept the outcome. Sometimes friendships appear from the most unsuspecting places and between people you never thought possible.

In my life, I have found great friendships and lost just as many. Some great and some… not as great. Some by choice, and some lost even after I fought long and hard battles to keep. However, the ones I have now, I appreciate. A few of them, I cherish as if it is the last miracle on earth.