Posts Tagged ‘Emotions’

The Unforgettable Moment

Posted: July 11, 2016 in Current
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Life is an ocean filled with ebb and flow tides – filled with good and bad experiences.  We accept it as we understand it forms part of our school of life.  Sometimes we feel like quitting, and other times we wish time would pause for a moment – just to soak in the greatness of a memory in the making.

I believe that my purpose in life is simply trying to make other people smile.  At times it works, and other times it fails miserably.  Good intentions aren’t always received in the fancy wrapping you pictured in your mind.  I am very particular to see the people in my life to be happy (as much as possible) and if something is hindering a friend, I always try to be there for them to lean on or just to listen.  The aim is to be there for them; assure them they are not alone and do not always have to carry their load alone.  I will be there – irrespective of time, place or circumstances.  And the reason is because I care.

But sometimes, it is not an easy task – impossible even, but you attempt nonetheless.  And then…

You experience something you didn’t expect.

With a tough week behind them, you know a friend, strong and able, put up a brave face to avoid nagging questions and attempts to ‘make them feel better’.  But magic happened before my eyes!

Her eyes lit up and sparkled like diamonds! Her face glowed as her beautiful smile appeared!  I was in awe!  Her energy was revived and you could see she was at a place in her mind where she needed to be!  A place where her heart and mind joined!

What did I do to accomplish this?  Nothing.  Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for it.  The miracle working was a child, and it made me wonder how such a small creature can accomplish so much with no effort and little time.  The answer was staring me in the face without me knowing it.

Truth, honesty and a pure heart!  This little one wasn’t fake or attempted to crack a smile for her own benefit.  She was simply honest, truthful and herself.  While she was working her magic, I found myself constantly stare at my friend’s eyes and smile and at the end I found myself speechless – scared to taint the beautiful moments they share.

Maybe that is what adults lack?  Perhaps we are so used to overcomplicate things.  I think we have so much to learn from the little ones, we just never make the time to sit down and actually look and listen.  Humans have the tendency to always work at an angle to see how they can benefit.

Maybe we should take a few steps back and start with the basics again.  Be truthful!  Be honest!  Be yourself!  Be the support pillar because you want to be – with no hidden agendas.  Be the listening ear that listens and absorbs and not attempt to throw back intelligent-sounding answers.  Allow your friend to rant and rave.  Give a hug because you wish to absorb some of their pain and not because you want them to be in your debt.

Make space in your life to be a child and adult alike.  Just give it your all.  Be there for who you really are.  Be respectful of others’ feelings and accept that sometimes you can’t fix things.  but also remember that it is easier to be truthful and honest.  Make space in your heart to fill a section with the characteristics of a child!

 

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An Icy Topic

Posted: June 12, 2013 in Current
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I am an unsophisticated element. Nothing but plain and simple. I am made of two parts of one element and one part of another.

With many years of the cold I experienced, layers upon layers made me impenetrable and I grew from a snowflake to a glacier. My molecules set in its ways – barely moving and closely together with no possibility to penetrate to my core.
A star broke free and dawned from the east. At first, I did not take notice and tried to reflect the rays away from me, but the warmth created started breaking down my barriers. The molecules that made me what I am started vibrating uncontrollably and this created spaces where your energy seeped in – leaving me vulnerable to your powers. I started to change the shape that I was used to.

However, it did not stop there…

You went even deeper and creating more excitement, compelling my particles to move even more vigorously and more energetic, leaving even bigger gaps where you have supremacy overwhelming my routines and comfort zones. Once again, I became a shape shifter where I found myself floating upwards trying to get close to you.

To no avail… You never noticed… you never saw… you never realized. I vaporized in front of your eyes, not because I tried to hide, but because you never knew the powers you have within. I tried to get closer, but you silently moved on to keep the distance as much as possible.

I was ice that liquefied and evaporated into a distant memory – all because of you, shining star we call sun.

The fallen stronghold

Posted: April 13, 2012 in Current
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My mind suddenly becomes aware of the silence that fills my surroundings.  My feelings are energetic, forcing my heart rate to exhilarate.  My senses intoxicated by adrenaline as my thoughts are pursued by your presence; similar to a lioness that stalks her pray.

It is not the hunting ritual, but the uncontrollable urge that you create. Your eyes are the clear, blue skies above; your soft skin is the gentle clouds; your voice is the calm breeze that brings the aroma of raindrops and blossoming flowers; the unrivalled beauty of an African sunrise!  All this combined, pounces on you without any warning. Just like a lightning strike, you cannot prepare for it that specific moment when it happens – it leaves you nervous yet excited to experience such authority.

Here I stand in the open field with no shelter from you – powerless yet thrilled.  I cannot describe the feeling that you stir in my mind.  You make me feel like a boy with his favourite Hotwheels™ or like a teen after his first kiss; leaving one sleepless, anxiously waiting for the next time!

With you, I will not break down the walls around my heart.  I have invited you in and the walls will keep you there, safe! Within my heart, there is no pretence, no masks, and no lies.  You will only hear the whisper of my soul, my mind, my heart, my purest self.

However, being in the deepest of my soul, you gained the power to destroy me.  Like a viral infection, you can devour me from within.  The trust I put in you, awaken a terrifying feeling that I have no defence mechanism against you, yet hoping that it will not happen.  Wishing that it’s only my mind playing tricks on me.  Questions arise on how sincere your intentions and spoken words are.

Have I made the mistake and allowed a Trojan horse to penetrate my defences?  Have I been a naïve youngling straying away from the herd, falling prey to a ferocious predator? Or… have I opened up to sincerity?  Did I expose my core to your inner pure energy that you mirror on the outside?

The uncertainty is unsettling.  One moment it feels like you will crush me; the next moment you lift me to above all great expectations.  When will the lightning strike?  Will I be safe?

Should I regret allowing you to get so close to me?  Should these things be so complicated?  In the past, I thought that many people make things a lot more complicated than what it should be, but I wonder if there is a way to simplify all this.

I know that I have a destiny, going from point A to point B and that is the simple part, however, I know that my journey will have many crossroads, potholes and the daily wear and tear of living.  The travelling will have its scenic routes and its breakdowns. Will I have you next to me, to experience it with me; navigate me?  Alternatively, are you just an ordinary hitchhiker that will get on and off as you feel the need for it?

I have reached a point where I wish I knew the answer to this.

Here I stand in the open plateau, looking into the distance, eager to see a rainbow, exposing myself to the danger of being hunted. The beauty of a rainbow stuns me, and I am neglecting the dangers around.  Hiding in the woods will prevent me from seeing the rainbow, and other dangers will reveal themselves.  It is my decision to choose my path to lead me to my destination.  This is where I should decide: Do I say farewell to the rainbow and fade into the shadows, or will I admire the rainbow for long as I can?

The Hug of a Rose

Posted: May 18, 2011 in Current
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I was inspired to write this when a friend asked me for a hug. Immediately I knew ‎something was wrong, but then I realised how much hugs can do.‎

Miniature cracks on the hardened shell suddenly slit open, exposing the pure ‎innocence inside. Teardrops crashes onto the white sheets, tainting the innocence and ‎staining it with random patterns. As the tears evaporates, the stains remains. For ‎those who cares, on closer inspection, these stains dissolve into characters. With each ‎character, it creates words and sentences. These sentences forms paragraphs and ‎chapters. With every moment and emotion, a little piece is written in our life story, our ‎own fairy tale.‎ We build this exoskeleton to protect us from the world, but even with this protection, ‎we still grow, our lives still continue, sometimes something out of our control, ‎penetrate our book of life. That is where friends can be a support structure like the ‎spine of a book; to keep you up; help you keep the pages together; be able to continue ‎your story the next day.‎

As she opened her arms, I could feel the pain, yet the purity of her feelings. The hug ‎was warm with her passions for life, but pain was draining her. I wish I could have ‎hugged her all day long; try to lessen the pain. I hope and pray that things will turn ‎around. She is a ‘the glass is half full’ – lady. To see the positive in her depleted, ‎makes you wish you have the power and ability to stop time and fix things. I would ‎be pleased to see her smile again; not the smile she uses as a mask, but that smile that ‎makes the stars in heaven seem dull. A red and cream coloured rose, she is, between ‎the khaki-bush.‎

The Hardest Things…

Posted: November 21, 2010 in Current
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In our lifetimes, we experience a predestined crossroad that we all know we will have to face eventually.  Even knowing that we will reach this obstacle in life, we never accomplish a state of mind where we could properly prepare for the decisions, by word, action or by feelings, at this crossroad in life’s journey – an intersection of great difficulty…

The hardest things to feel, to say, to do, differs from person to person and depends on your personality. To one, something can be insignificant, to another, it can mean the world. Due to this fact, it can make one of the simplest things in life, truly complicated.

 

How many of us struggle to say ‘Sorry’ or ‘Please forgive me’ to a family member?  In some instances, just merely saying sorry to anyone is too difficult for some.  We are too proud to admit that we have been wrong towards people we know.  Yet, none of us is perfect and we are bound to make mistakes, so eventually we will find ourselves in a situation where we need to apologise.  All we can do is to willingly accept that we are bound to make mistakes and it will affect others in our lives.

The hardest thing to say is ‘I am sorry.  Please forgive me’

Just like apologising is one of the hardest things to say, a lot find themselves struggling to say ‘I love you’. Added to this, very few are comfortably expressing this feeling not just into words, but in actions.  Do we think that expressing such a powerful emotion, into word or action, make us weak?  As I have mentioned in a previous blog entry, if you are a Christian and you split The Ten Commandments into two sections, it is simply ‘Love your Saviour’ and ‘Love thy Neighbour’.  In essence, The Ten Commandments is all about one thing: love.  Being able to love, is one of the greatest gifts God bestowed upon us.  We need to embrace such a miracle and realize that it is a powerful gift that we can share between each other.

Some say ‘I love you’ with the greatest of ease, but are those three little words put into action?  If one does not say those three simple words and mean it, what is the purpose of it?  Be genuine with this phrase as it can build a person’s life, or destroy it.

The hardest thing to do is to love someone, without them knowing how much and not have this type of pure energy returned.  The hardest thing to do is to say ‘I love you’ and to feel such a feeling, but to keep it to yourself as you want to see the other person happy.

To say ‘Good Bye’ and ‘Farewell’ to someone you truly care about is one of the hardest things to say.  Holding back emotions and try to be strong when parting, is extremely difficult.

To admit to a Faith can be added to the ‘hardest things to admit to’-list.  From the beginning of time, people lost their lives when they admitted to be Christian, Jew, Hindu, Muslim, etc.  How many of us try to avoid conversations about religion?

The hardest things for me to do were to open up to people, and then shut down as soon as I realised that I exposed my core.  The hardest thing to do was to love someone, but to suppress it; to care, but not to make it too obvious; to say good-bye and be strong about it.  The hardest thing I feel is that no-one is to blame for anything but oneself.  The hardest thing to experience is that forgiveness starts with oneself.

“Sometimes you just have to try not to care, no matter how much you do… because sometimes you mean nothing to someone who means everything to you”

I have tried to find the origin of this quote and the author, but to no avail.  Such true words spoken! The hardest things in life, is to experience any emotion, and then to withhold it from someone for whatever reason.  But how does one suppress such powerful emotions… emotions powerful enough to change attitudes, reasoning and minds?

The hardest thing is, when your mind decides on one thing, but your heart decided on another, to get these two entities to work together as one!

Unspoken Language (Continued)

Posted: May 25, 2010 in Current
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My unspoken words – active but unnoticed. If I do not say something, do not assume I don’t feel anything.  I care; I sympathize; I try to be supportive and I do love.  I do not express these feelings in words as a lot of people take offense and pulls back.  People are uncomfortable to hear  a lot of these things.

Do I care about you?  Do I want to support you in every possible way?  Do I want to give you my everything?  Do I love you? I do.  One day I might express it in words, but what will keep you from running?  Will you be able to handle such truth?  I do not allow a lot of people close to me, but the ones I allow into my heart, those few  forms part of my character; they form part of my emotions; they receive my unconditional and pure love.

If I express my feelings and emotions in words, will you accept them as if it is the last thing I will ever say?  Or will you get used to it and the words will not have the same effect as when I said it the first time?

Language is a communication highway.  But it has two directions, and it is the same with unspoken language.  I care about you, yet you push my away without knowing it.  I touched you, and your body language showed that I have offended you and you grow more distant.  Slowly but surely, I think I need to get off this road and find a different road to travel as this road might just lead to heartache and pain.