Being Single…

Posted: January 14, 2017 in Current
Tags: , , , ,

Many would believe that being single is all fun and games… others believe there is either something wrong with you or you may be gay or lesbian… Yet very few people actually believe being single is as normal as being in a relationship.

Being single is not an easy way out where it is all partying up storms and having the time of your life!  It is just as hard as the efforts a person needs to put into a successful relationship.  The only support you have, is yourself.

More often than not, friendships perish because ‘it is an inconvenience to invite someone that is not married or have a partner’.  Sadly, it is a very familiar occurrence, yet when assistance or support is needed, people preferably contact their ‘single’ friends than their friends in relationships, because I think, for that brief moment of their weakened state of mind, they already know that single people will look after and support you as a friend – no questions asked, and they will not have to feel like the outcast in the crowd.

Thinking and believing that being single is  easy, cannot be further from the truth.  I cannot declare that I know all the reasons why some people stay single, but I know from my own experience, that it can be a single reason, or a multitude of reasons.  I will share with you some of my experiences and why I will probably always stay single.

Sometimes you get your heart broken so many times that you are not sure that what you have left, is enough to share with someone, with the chance that it can be broken again.  When you put everything you have in a relationship to make it work, and then later on all your efforts gets flushed down a toilet effortlessly, it breaks your motivation to try again.

Yet we often do try again and often we do succeed.  Some people have met their greatest treasures through the school of life and is destined to grow old together.  But like the hunt of a cheetah, so often than not, is the hunt unsuccessful.

It is even possible to have lost the greatest treasure in your life and you cannot attempt to chase a relationship if you have not forgiven yourself yet.  Forgiveness is not a quick and easy solution.  Sometimes it takes a lot more effort and time.

Of course it is also possible that you do not find what you are looking for.  Being realistic, you can still upkeep you standards and not forsake your standards just to be in a mere relationship to make others happy.  Why compromise your beliefs when you might still find that perfect one for you?

Why am I still single?

In my case, I can categorically state that I carry a lot of baggage (as we all have I suppose).  I have been blessed with the greatest partners in my past and they set the standards high, and I will always cherish them for that.  I have made mistakes and for some of my mistakes, I cannot forgive myself, and until I can, I will not allow someone to suffer because of me and the broken person I am.  I have been broken by lies and deceit and I am still mending the puzzle pieces of a shattered soul.  For this reason do I not easily allow people close to me.  That of course already burden a possible relationship and even friendships.

Have I ever thought that there is someone out there for me?   I have, but unfortunately because of the aforementioned, and because these people I truly believe are the greatest gifts in my life, I have pushed away in an attempt to avoid their disappointment in me.  I am not phased about the public eye and what they think of me, I am a mere stranger, but for these few people in my life, I will do my utmost best to support and ensure they have the best they possibly can.  Even if I sacrifice one happiness for the greater good.

Just as relationships need work and adjusting and compromise, don’t think for a moment that being single is any less hard work and sacrifices.  Sometimes you sacrifice the best you ever had, to ensure their happiness.

Just as single people respect people in relationships, isn’t it just fair not to forget your single friends and not throw them to the wolves and to just assume that they are worthless?

If we seek paradise outside ourselves, we cannot have paradise in our hearts. – Thomas Merton

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. abbslerm says:

    No one could ask for a better friend

    Like

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