The Trickled Sands of Memories

Posted: February 27, 2015 in Current
Tags: , , , ,

Before the end, I was clutching my hands in an attempt not to lose you.  But the firmer I made my grip, the more slipped through my fingers.  Before I knew it, I clutched an empty fist.  In the beginning after the end, I found myself at times wishing I suffered from amnesia, just to hide the pain – just even to pretend that I am not broken.  I have made a grueling attempt to forget you; wash you out of my system, but I have failed.  I realized that I cannot decide when to forget.

As the memories like the grains of sand of time trickle down the hour glass, it is swept away by a raging river.  A river swaying from side to side – eroding the edges and digging deeper – leaving its footprints behind.  It concave from side to side, leaving bigger paths and more visible erosion: shallow wrinkles and deep scars within.

As the rivers’ rage subdue, it leaves the sediment of the sands behind, covering some of the destruction it left behind: hiding some of the damage it has done.  As I look at this waterway, I realize that the memories are embedded much deeper than what I originally anticipated.

I still remember your beautiful eyes that melted my defenses in an instant.  Your eyes penetrated my soul. it awakened some part of me that have died a long, long time ago.  Your eyes were magnets. My focus always shifting from daily activities, to you and your eyes. Those very same eyes often scolded me when I was in the wrong: and that without a single word spoken.

Your beautiful smile could ignite and warm up any atmosphere.  All negatives would be swept away and a person would just appreciate the aura you radiated from within.   Your smile acted as an emotional booster; a ‘fix’; a miracle!  Your smile was addictive! Your smile was magical.

Your gentle touch felt like silky smooth gold-dust on any given day.  My heart still race thinking of it.  Little did you know the powers you held.  You had the powers to make or break all defenses and guarded posts.  You destroyed impenetrable walls like a hot knife through butter.

I miss your voice and your laughter, and I struggle to hold on to these memories.  A whisper from the heavens above that keep you on your toes; making life worthwhile.  As much as I try to replicate the harmony in my mind, I struggle.  The recollection of this, are almost impossible. Eventually, I know it would be lost forever.

These are the sediments that wash up against the riverbeds.  Seasons come and go, tides ebb and flow, and memories slowly gets covered by the sediment of daily events.  I know one day a flood will come and wash away the sediment the riverbed dumped, exposing the memories and revealing the scar tissue once again.

After this, what will be left behind?  The memories of what you meant in my life; what impact you had in my life.  The river’s bends and curves will be my blessing and my curse.  Love is strong and trumps everything, yet love lost hurt more than most in life.

  1. Dael says:

    Very true!


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