The Three Way War

Posted: November 4, 2013 in BloggingHoliX, Current
Tags: ,

There is a raging, never-ending war.  In war you have your strategy, your army and your purpose.  Within your army there are structures and hierarchy.  Your strategy is to limit losses and gain as efficiently as possible.  Your purpose is as instructed by someone that was voted into power.  This is the typical scenario.  However, this struggle can be between the emotional (the reasoning), the rational (strategic planning) and the circumstantial (advisors, third parties and external involvement) in everyday life as well.

The circumstantial aspects are normally out of your control.  Yet, it plays a big part in this battle.  In life, the circumstantial can be seen as the battlefield in the war.  There are hills and valleys.  The hills can conceal the armies while the valleys can have armies exposed to surprise attacks from above.

The rational or reasoning is done by one’s mind.  And sometimes, (however careful the planning and strategizing was) because of the confusion of the battles, one seeks advice to assist with the strategizing of this war.  The thought processes can be clouded as you cannot see a trap when you walk through the valleys and you cannot foresee the attack from the hills.

The emotional is where you follow your heart.  The heart is the king of the kingdom. A good king considers the advice of counsel, but still follow its heart.  The king’s artillery consists of an irreplaceable army of love, faith, respect, dreams, hope and other feelings from deep within the treasures found within ones rib cage. But is a king a king when he is limited to his castle?  A king whose ruling is confined to the four walls of a castle is not a king, but more a prisoner.  A king should earn and own its kingdom.

But in the everyday battle, why can’t these three units not pull in the same direction?  And you probably ask how I came to write about the rational; the circumstantial and the emotional… Well, a dear friend give me the idea and then I have listened to the lyrics of Phillip Phillips’ song called “Gone Gone Gone” and this thing popped in my mind.

One cannot dictate what the heart should feel.  To truly care about someone, cannot be destroyed.  When a relationship start as a friendship and grow stronger, the barriers and obstacles are easier to overcome.  When you love someone unconditionally where you can’t sleep, eat, or think, and when it is long past the infatuated stage, how you do stop to feel then?

Many say I need to let go; many says to stop fighting; many says to move on.  Why do all think it is so easy?  Maybe what I think and feel about love is not acceptable in modern life.  Many times in the past I have given up on people – even written them off in my life.  Now, I have found someone I don’t want to give up on; I don’t want to let go; and I don’t want to stop loving.

My heart is stronger and bigger than my mind.  I cannot control my heart. I cannot stop the beating of it.  I understand circumstances is not in my favour.  I even understand that the energy of this love will never be understood and appreciated for what it is, but I cannot switch it off like a light switch.  Should I surrender and pretend?  Should I stop to love? Should I follow the advisors’ advice and just move on?

If she stumbles or fall, I will be there to catch her and help her back to her feet.  If she needs a listening ear, I will listen to her as her voice can only be described as an orchestra.  Times when she thinks she is alone, I hope she remembers the love and care I feel for her and she will never be alone.  My love will blanket her and protect her.  Even when she disappears from my life (and I from her heart), I will not even try to destroy this energy. This is much stronger than me.  Should I really try and fight it?  Or should I embrace the privilege to have met someone like her and have her deep within my castle? Should I march forward; or should I retreat?

I have sent my armies through the valleys where I was exposed, because I believed that my intentions should be transparent.  I knew it would never be easy, but I knew that as deep as this valley runs through the earth, was the feelings I feel.  The throne would be worth nothing if it was not for this purpose, goal, hopes and dreams. I have no regrets and I will not forget her.  Her presence flows deep within me. Her aura haunts me.  She electrifies my neurons to a whole new level.

At the end, this is where I find myself; where I decided not to take the easy way out, but seeing a travelling party moving away from me.  My heart’s tears are heavy and crashes down. It is draining, but I will not stop this king of my castle.  The war cries have died down; the sound of the unified marching feet has faded… a deadly, yet awkward silence reigns.

Which will be victorious? Will it be the circumstantial that will win the battle; will it be the rational?  Or will my heart be the victor? And whoever triumph, which direction will I decide to march? A very close friend made a valid point and I wish to end this post off with it…  I wanted to end this war… retreat to the castle.  But will the war end then?  War ends when the parties sign a peace treaty.  So should I not fight for this kingdom and its treasures, or find peace in agreement?

 “There is a quiet light that shines in every heart. . . . It is what illuminates our minds to see beauty, our desire to seek possibility, and our hearts to love life… ” ~ John O’ Donohue 
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