When Words Are Not Enough… Or Too Much

Posted: July 20, 2013 in Current
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Tonight is a beautiful night. However, I am not stargazing but actually looking for answers.  Subconsciously, I know I will not find it there, and yet I keep on staring hopeful.  As this idea floats in my mind, it reminded me of the lyrics of a song performed by Snow Patrol and the title of the song is Chasing Cars.  I am not going to quote the whole song but literally only the following phrase: “I don’t quite know how to say how I feel… Those three words are said too much or not enough.”

Briefly: communication is an act, intentional or unintentional, in a linguistic or non-linguistic form, where information of any kind, are exchanged between parties. Source; message; receiver! It is so simple, yet we achieve the incredible by screwing up something this basic by complicating it multiple-folds – making it more difficult than it should be. However, many forms of communication are much smaller; less obvious – yet more important in my opinion.

Little do we realize it, but communication stretch to a Nano- or micro level too – which I am still trying to figure out which part of me is controlling the communication channels.  You look at someone and get lost in his or her eyes. This beautiful intoxicating sight is transmitted to the brain by electrical pulses.  Your brain decodes, calculate and design a response.  Then…  Your hands become sweaty; you battle to breathe; your heart skips a beat; you stand there like a damn fool not knowing what to say.  The information sent back and forth, did not get lost, the response came through in a form you cannot control. If you lucky, the person will realize this, as we all experience these things eventually in our lifetime.  The more powerful the message, the less control you have over it.

What is worse?  Is it the cheesy pick-up line at the bar; or the silent admiration across the room?  Is it telling someone that you love them, just to realize that the feeling is not mutual or not telling them and they move on as you are “not into them”?  Or how about assuming that someone will know that you missed them; or that they look breathtakingly amazing and because of that you do not whisper a word of this to them?

In life, you always reach crossroads in the form of choices.  However, what you decide to be the best for you, might not be the same to another.  How many times do you find yourself in a predicament where you said too much; or too little for that matter? How many times are you waiting for an answer, and the awkward silence following becomes the answer.  Is it the actual message or the timing of giving the message that is important?  On the other hand, is it the actions that are overwhelming the words? Is it the deeper connection between two people or is it all of the above or the absence of them all?

My question does not lie with the uncontrollable responses and / or communication, but rather with the responses we can control.

The human heart is a small organ and not bulletproof, yet it is where life begins – with that very first heartbeat even before you are born; and somehow, it is where our love finds itself too.  Look at an expecting mother’s facial expression when she hears that fast-paced heartbeat at the doctor’s offices.  Without any words, the face of that mother-to-be says so many things.  The non-linguistic communication that says so many things.

Just as the heart is secured and protected by the ribcage, so did I protect myself from the world outside.  I showed as little emotions as possible as I thought it was a sign of weakness.  What I was doing, was not protecting it, but constraining it from living! That was the past, and with a few pushes and shoves by people, I slowly opened up.  I am brutally honest when I say I do not want to be who I was in the past.  The idea of who I was in the past haunts me. Somewhere I heard a saying of ‘it is not what it is, but what it becomes that is important’. I hope that it is true and hopefully I have learned from my mistakes.

With some freedom, the heart can be set free to communicate in a beat to the rhythm of life and love.  Be open to experience the sensation of a beautiful smile, a warm hug, a gentle kiss and serenity of gorgeous eyes. Misunderstandings are a fancy term for broken communication and it destroys relationships just too easily in our lifetimes.  Communicate your message on all possible levels to a person by means of words and actions.  Say ‘I care about you’, ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you’, and do not stop there!  Show it to them!  Be the shoulder to lean on; be the smile to try and cheer someone up; be the messenger of hope.  Be the action of the story you tell. I miss you, loved one

  1. […] When Words Are Not Enough… Or Too Much (doggieholix.wordpress.com) […]


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