The World Cup Championship of Life

Posted: February 9, 2011 in Current
Tags: , ,

The hyped up year 2010 has gone as fast as it appeared.  Just like the FIFA World Cup presented the sport with some winners and some losers, so did I experience some wins and some losses.

The question arises whether my winning matches in 2010 are overwhelming the losses I had.  Are the wins I had just a consolation prize? If both wins and losses are consolidated into a single term, did I end the year as a champion, or did I win the ‘irrelevant matches’, but lost the final championship match?  Does one count the amount of matches you win, or how far you win or lose?

My wins in 2010 (even into 2011) are very diverse as it ranges to small things to relatively good things and I hope to carry that forward.  My winning streak included things like gaining new friends and changing my mindset and attitude about certain things.

One of the most odd wins I think I had, was when I was ‘psychoanalyzed’ by someone that never met me face to face, yet the person was so accurate about a lot of things that I have never told anyone in my life.  As I have been told that I do not open up to people, I thought after this ‘analysis’ that I am pretty easy to read then at least.  Will I open up to people again?  I think in my life I probably know two or three people that I will open up to, but I have known them for years and I trust them with my life, my heart, my soul and my whole being.  A friend I love so dear as she always knew when I am mentally drained and grumpy, yet she always put a smile on my face.  A friend that has been like a brother to me even if we don’t see each other often. I might be very selective with the friendships in my life, but it is the handful of friends that carries me through life. These friends are like setting records for the first time. It is there for your whole life and will always be remembered.

But I have had losses too.  I have opened up, and burnt myself. I have lost an extremely good friend or two. I have realised that having that much trust in one person or faith in their words, is setting yourself up to receive a red card and be sent off the field.  To add to this, I had a major accident during the first week of 2011 and I dropped one of my harddrives that contains some of my most personal things.  It doesn’t stop there!  I applied to study and ‘conveniently’ the company only have money to pay a few people’s studies (whilst I requested to further my studies a few years ago to benefit the company), yet mine is on hold till ‘next year’.

I think the greatest losses I have experienced is losing the inspiration to write, losing a great friendship and having so much faith and trust in people. Even though I put a smile on my face and pretend that nothing can touch me, I can feel how certain things eat me inside and how I put a mask over my regrets and pain.

With everything that has happening over last year and this short year so far, I cope much better with things… or I just got better in pretending and masquerading my actual state of mind.  I do not know what lies ahead for me this year and where the road will take me.  The start of 2011 wasn’t my first choice, but I can’t say it was boring and uneventful.

I think I have had more wins than losses in 2010, but I think my losses outweighs my wins.  As the saying goes ‘quality over quantity’.  I am not in a negative frame of mind; just disappointed, I suppose.

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Comments
  1. Warl0c says:

    You are, and always will be a champion, wins and losses aside, you are a true champion at heart, and nothing can or ever will change that.

    Like

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