Posted: July 6, 2010 in Current
Tags: , , ,

The temperature drops as the sun sets to the West.  The abyss of darkness grows wider and deeper with every moment.  I try to keep the fire alight, but the wood are running out.  Heaven’s teardrops dampen the wood and smother the fire.

The winter cold sets in… The shivering body concentrates on survival and the memories of the warmth it once experienced fade like mist in the sun.  The rosy cheeks turns from a glowing pink to a pale grey.

As the heat dissipates from my body, my legs cave in, forcing me to my knees.  As I try to crawl forward, I reach out to His hands.  As I reach out, confusion prevents my hands from touching His.  The distance I created is too big.  I need to get closer.

I am filled with fear and pain.  I lost faith in love; I have lost hope in faith; I have emptied my soul.  My heart yearns for His acceptance and understanding. My soul requires His love.  I have neglected Him because I thought it was for the best, but I have realised that I cannot love someone else if I lost His love.  I have lost the love of two recently.  I hurts like you cannot imagine.

As I write this, I have realized that I have lost the one thing that really inspired me to blog.  The heart-warming emotions were replaced with black-holes – emptiness and bitterness.  It is difficult to see the silver lining around the clouds.

A friend once told me to try and get closer to God, and with the negative thoughts I have, I figured it is better that I don’t.  This same friend saw me a few days ago and just with the first glance, she knew I needed a hug.  A hug that kept my head strong that day and made me hopeful.  That is where I decided…

God did wonderful things from the moment He created everything, till the things He creates on a daily basis.  I was once told that love is an energy and I believe that is the greatest miracle HE ever created.  Anything that you take on, and you do it with love, can only be one of the greatest successes in life!

I regret losing this love.  I regret feeling this bitter.  I pray that this love can return, but I pray I can return this love the same way.  I know I am capable to serve my Saviour with everything that He gave me.  I know He gave me a heart to love with.  I know He gave me a soul to treasure the people He placed in my life.  On my knees, I pray to him to forgive me and assist me.

And by the way, a hug to me, is simply an acronym for Heaven’s Unparalleled Gift!

  1. Die ouer Oomie says:

    Oom .. Truer words few have uttered, save for one thing … You pour out that same love on a daily basis without realizing it. Your unwavering friendship, loyalty, your lack of judgment of those around you, your friends … that is His love expressed and poured out through you … Though you may feel you abandoned him, and we all do, all too often, He NEVER abandons us … His gifts continue to pour out through us, even though we don’t see them … His arms are wide open, waiting to welcome you back, without condition …


  2. Elize says:

    Beautiful! Simplistic and Elegant … remember that His love is all around us, whether we accept it or fight it … it is constant! May His love and grace warm your soul!


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