Truth About Thy Neighbor

Posted: May 25, 2010 in Current
Tags: , , ,

Would you break a promise you made to someone when that person constantly makes a fool out of you?  Would you keep a promise to someone if they lie to you?  What is the price of honesty?  Like the lyrics of a song ‘Would you kill to save a life?’  To open up to someone is difficult… but when you do, it is even more difficult to close up again to avoid the pain people cause.  If you hide something because you don’t want to ‘feel bad’, isn’t that the same as lying?  Isn’t pretence exactly lies put into action?  A lot of people will criticise and judge for what I am about to write, but hear me out.

Like the lyrics of the song ‘More Than Words’  I know people that can say they love you and they care about you, but their actions does not correspond with their spoken words and is hollow sounds.  Then I know friends that does not have to say the words as it is clear and evident in  their behaviour.  And then there are the few that don’t really know what love entails. Pretence is very close to emotional abuse to a kind and soft hearted personality.  And emotional and verbal abuse is as serious as physical abuse.  It doesn’t leave visible scars or bruises.  It doesn’t show signs of struggle in your lounge.  This emotional destruction can kill someone in a cruel and slow manner.  Most of the times, this kind of abuse is unnoticed, yet, it does inflict pain; it does bruise your heart and scar your soul.

Say that you care and that you love someone by your behaviour and actions, not just on occasion with words.   Love, whether it is for a family member, a friend, your spouse or your sweetheart, must be pure.  Let your life be the passionate dictionary of your feelings to the one you care about.  I do believe that I express my feelings in my actions, and when I do say the words ‘I love you’ or ‘I care about you’, it comes from the deepest of my heart. The intensity seems like scares people off.

I question everything lately and it drives me insane.

People lie and deceive people.  It is not things hurting.  It is people hurting people.  Most people use friends like televisions.  If there is nothing else to do, you will be switched on for their entertainment.  When they done, they switch you off and forget about you.  Why not just be straight and they tell you that you are their television set for when all else fails.  A lot of so called friendships go to waste when a lifestyle change… whether it is changing of location; changing of careers, etc.  If a friendship fails then, was it truly friendship?

I had too much faith in friendships.  I believed that people will cherish friendships like I did in the past.  I trusted and put my faith in people and their capabilities.  I suppose I hoped for the better.  Hope is derived from love.  If you love something, you always hope for more of it.

I have friends that knows my weaknesses and what I like and don’t like.  One friend’s touch and smile demolish the walls around me and change my mood in an instance.  Another friend can just look at me and I feel better about the day.  Another can give me a hug, and I know that the day was worth it, while another just taps you on the back and says ‘Its all good boet!’  Every friend you have, have some sort of ‘comforting act’.  Over the years a lot of friends told me they are true friends and not fake friends.  And here comes the curveball… Take away all the physical ‘reassurances’.

Here is a scenario we all experienced at least once in our lifetime:  you have your eye on someone and decide you want to take the relationship (that was a good friendship with attitude so to speak) and be each other’s sweetheart.  Then the next moment you are told ‘I am not really ready for any relationships’.  You handle and cope with it as you appreciated the honesty… then two weeks later you hear this friend is involved with someone else. It hurts then all over again.  And in my opinion that is a lie.  You do not get different grades and levels of lies.  A lie is a lie is a lie!  Avoiding to tell the truth is just as bad.

Would the pain not be more bearable if the person told you that he/she prefer to have you as a friend as you are not compatible as lovers and allow you to move on, than to keep you on a string and create the false hope of any future?

I’ve been made a fool over and over again, purely because I believed in people and at the end I sit with the disappointments and these disappointments hurt.  In the past I did not open up to people and I coped well with it.  A friend got me to open my heart and expose my inner-self to the world.  I enjoyed that feeling.  It felt great.  For once it felt fantastic as I had the freedom to express and share my feelings.  I had a big heart filled with love, hope and faith, yes, even faith!  I truly cared a lot about the people in my life.  The faith in people; the hope in truth; the believe in people, are fallen comrades.  My heart is bitter and blackened.  I am closing up again but it is difficult.

Day to day crashing

Totally draining

Wishing the day to an ending?

All this thumping

Cause your back to bend

When can this day ever end?

Your heart is bleeding

Your soul is draining

Will this day ever end?

Day turned to night

Aches and pains’ your company

A broken soul gone to bed

Scorched and tainted.

Luscious Green turned to Gold

Warm fades to bitter Cold

Discoloured Leaves

gently float to the earth

Exposing the core of birth

The forest floor a golden carpet

Slowly decomposing into nothing

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