Posted: May 25, 2010 in Current

Tonight, I wanted to write about my criteria for the lady of my dreams, but I couldn’t do it.  My heart and my mind was somewhere else.  And everything I was thinking, just brought up this question:  What do you do when your unselfish hope causes you pain?  Is there a straight answer to it?  Is there a simple answer to it?  Is there even an answer for this question?  Or will each answer differ from person to person?

Does one sacrifice the hope and cater for the selfish human within yourself?  Do you compromise your pure intentions and hopes to divulge in happiness based on a, dare I call it a, fake or pretence feeling?  Tonight I ask a lot of questions; questions that I do not have answers to and I doubt I will actually get answers for these.

All these unanswered questions are draining my current high-on-life feeling and force a slight depressed and demotivated feeling into my heart.  I am trying to stay positive though.  If there is one thing I really want in my life, is answers to some of these questions in my life.  It has been quite a long time since I asked these types of questions.

I wish I could go into details with this, but at this moment in time, I am not too sure how to write it down.  Once I made sense of it, I will add it here.

I want to crawl into a cave and disappear till I know what is going on in my heart, but things aren’t that simple.  In the past I have run away from my problems.  It caught up with me.  Now I am here, trying to face it.  It is not easy, but it is probably worth it.


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