Life And Miracles Within

Posted: May 25, 2010 in Current

The last few weeks was difficult.  I have been bent; I have been broken.  Looking at my hands, I am holding two handfuls of grain of sand.  The tighter I try to keep a hold of it, the more the sand slips away.

The sand is where life roots itself and everything I hold dear and very close to my heart: a special friend, positive attitude, life, love and hope.  I am losing control and at a fast pace too.  I clench my fists tighter to try and slow down the rate at which I drop the grains of sand, but the tenser my muscles get to hold things together, the faster I lose.

I am scared as I can taste the bitter taste of failure, the rough texture of pain as I am looking at my feet where the sand has fallen. Where the earth soaked up these miracles of everyday life that I tried to control.

I have been told recently that I carry a lot of hatred in me.  I was shocked to say the least.  It turned my whole ‘planned’ positive attitude upside down.  Then a very good and rare friend told me to following after I asked him if he thinks I carry hate within myself.  To think a few people really know you are one thing, but to have a friend that knows you much more than what you ever expected after years of distance… THAT is phenomenal! In short, he told me the following and I am not going to quote it at all.  However, I am going to use most of the words he was using.

He kindly made the suggestion that I need to open up to the valued people in my life and that I need to rant and rave and talk to these people as I will get rid of this ‘hate’.  He added that I carry too much love in my broken heart to hate anything, but the walls that I put up might make people think it’s hate when it truly isn’t.  He further said that I need to let people in and not block everyone out. I just need to let the right people in, even if it is hard to do.  I was blown away by these statements.  And it was a learning curve.

Friends like these are the sands of the earth that I hold in my hands: the sacred  medium of life


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