Changed Over The Years

Posted: November 22, 2009 in Current

Wow, it is just short of 3 years since I last added anything to this document. Yes, it is in the dying parts of 2009 and I am adding a new entry to this… eventually. During these past three years, I rewrote this blog to take out the spelling mistakes and the swearing and just tried to make it more readable.

As I rewrote this, I have noticed a lot of things changed in my life.  One thing is for certain… I think I am over the whole self pity party thing.  I think the next few entries will be quite long as I have a lot to add.  Things in my life changed: work, family, friends, opinions and a lot more other things too.

I will still try to add what I am listening to while I write the new entries.  I will not mention names here unless I have a specific reason why I want to.  Once I am complete with this, I will post it.

But let me mention the changes I have undergone since I last blogged here.  In a nutshell:

My work – I have started at my current employer as a Specifications Assistant. Moved to Sales and Project Management and then I moved t a ‘Virtual’ Warehouse Manager to a Logistics and Warehouse Manager.  The stress levels just increase with every moment I work there.  I will not go into details though.

Furthermore, I spend most of my weekends taking photos.  I enjoy the photography, but I still doubt if I ever will cut it as a profession.

Studies – I enrolled for a few courses, almost finished paying it, and I still have to start with it.  I am not too stressed about it right now.  I know I will get it finished.

Personality – Did my personality change a little bit?  I think it did in a way… not too much though.  I still joke around as much as I can, but some of my strengths are stronger, some of my weaknesses are removed, or replaced with some other weakness.

Are there changes I want to make?  In short, yes!  I want to be more self-confident, even if it can scare people away.  I scare people away without self-confidence so I might as well replace my shyness with the self-confidence thing, and see if it will be working for me.  I want to be more outgoing.  A friend mentioned that some of my weaknesses are that I am moody, insecure, unemotional, and insensitive and that I believe in no grey areas.  As I looked at these weak characteristics of mine, I thought of a few years back.  A few years back I would’ve taken offence to it.  Now that she brought this under my attention, I actually identify other weaknesses that she didn’t mention, but it is partly reason why I am so moody and things like that.  The lady was nice and only mentioned a few, but I think it is a very good place to start to change that.  Let’s see if I can fix at least half of it.

Furthermore, I want to try and be more positive, but I know that will be quite difficult.  I have been a very pessimistic and extremely negative person for most of the last few years in my life.  Another thing I definitely need to change, is my poor judgement of character.  Already during this year, some people used me and made a total fool out of me.  Worst of it all, I allowed it on numerous occasions.  I battle to read people of late.  I don’t read the body language like I used to in the past.  Socially, I became a virgin again.  And it does cause pain, believe it or not.

I must try to change all this, or I must try at least right?

In general – this next few months I want to spend a lot of time going out with friends, arranging little parties where people can have fun and just be themselves.

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