Universal Love Letter

Posted: June 15, 2018 in Current

In our human nature of overcomplicating the simplest of things, time is becoming more and more a “luxury that a few of us can afford” or that is the excuses we use. However, is it not our selfish nature that refuses us this priceless commodity? Do we manage our time efficiently? Do we make the effort to spend time with one another?

Take a moment and think of your commute to work this morning. What can you remember? Did you see the sickle moon? Did you gaze at the beautiful sunrise? Or did you look at your watch because the person driving a little distance ahead is not driving according to your preferred speed?

Sadly, our ratrace nature is a reality! And our time is spent on irrelevant things instead of the moments and people that make life worth living. And with us going through life blind, I wondered what my biggest regret will be in life that was time-bound: not making time for a loved one.

So here is my universal love-letter to you:

The early sun rose and awakened my forgotten self from my sleep, but I retreated to the darkness under my duvet, because I just want to sleep 5 more minutes. A much longer time have past, and when I rose to my feet I had to scramble to get ready for the day ahead. No time for conversation nor looking at what the day brought forth. Instead I lunged into my daily activities, relying on muscle-memory as my interest is at home where I can close my eyes again to sleep again. My only thought is that I just need to rush through everything to complete my daily tasks to put food on the table.

Years went past. I thought my memory faded, but my memory is in tact… it is the events and memories that were amiss. Today, my subconscious awoken from its slumber before sunrise. It drawn the curtains back to see the golden hour in your glowing smile and mesmerizing eyes. It is absolutely breathtaking. Life stopped in that moment. You are you… just perfect like you are now! Suddenly, a fire within rages uncontrolably, with this pure love for you

The subconscious did not stop there… as the day kicked off on a high note, the roses’ aroma filled the garden and the birds sang love songs as beautiful as ever. It was visible everywhere. The subconscious was in the untainted garden of eden and the promised land!  The thoughts of you are like an orchestra playing the best ever masterpiece and the neurons fire enchantedly along, connecting new pathways and erasing scartissues from the past.

Even at the end of the day, the sunset was not a carbon-copy of the sunrise, it was unique in every way. Clouds were present but did not jade the beauty, it perfected it. The gentle clouds was as gentle and smooth as your skin.  One want to touch, but just every so softly as not to disturb the beauty.

But fear set into the subconscious … if the light fades, it will hide your beauty. It will only be darkness, and a cold and lonely place.  But the subconscious had no reason to fear.

147A0108As darkness covered all, the skies lit up with stars, planets, galaxies and made its presence known. You were still there! The aurora display shown the subconscious that it is there to protect and that being beautiful doesn’t mean you can’t protect and be strong. The milky way ignited and displayed the night sky rainbow in all its glory showing that hope is always around.  Your supernova-heart exploded and created new beginnings and new feelings.  My subconscious realized that between the stars wasn’t empty space, but opportunities to explore more; learn more; appreciate more.

All the signs were there every single moment. All this was accessible and available every single moment- night and day, but at the same time the conscious part decided to overcomplicate things and have a blind eye that may make me seem weak. Our insecurities and our selfish nature got the better of us and blinded us.  Years lost.  Moments lost forever!

Friends, if you love someone, tell them. Let them know! Keeping quiet, or even allowing external factors to rob you from your precious time, will be the biggest injustice you can do to yourself or your loved one!

Love is not limited to perfection. Love is being honest and sincere. Love is being able to forgive the little human errors we make. Love is taking note of your partner and not take them for granted. Love is not a business contract, it is unconditional. Love is not changing someone to suit you, but finding the strengths and weaknesses of another and simply to make it work.  Love is not being weak!  Love is respect, hope, acceptance and forgiveness.  Love is underrated.  Love is finding that one that you can’t imagine being without; missing them as they leave for work or do errands.
Love is the true meaning of happiness.

And if you are lucky enough to find “the one”, tell them that you love them and mean it… tell them you love them by your actions, every day, every moment.

There is of course the absolute romantic gestures that can cost a pretty penny, but it is not limited to currencies!  To show your respect, appreciation and love is absolutely free.  AND it makes you feel alive! It makes you look forward to tomorrow.

Showing someone that you love them does not mean you need to fork out almost your whole salary.  Love is not a commercial entity.  It is an emotional bond.  Kissing someone on the forehead or hugging them for no apparent reason can be all that is needed.  Finding a little wild flower and just doing the little effort to pick it, can show love.  Ways to show someone you love them, is only limited to your imagination!

I love you.


Proteaceae Amicitia

Posted: May 7, 2018 in Current
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So I read the following on a social media platform.  “If you want to learn what someone fears losing the most, watch what they photograph”.  This got me thinking!

I hate taking photos of people because I place myself in their shoes and you always get the “my eyes are always droopy/drunk”-shot or the non-flattering poses.  So I found an alternative way of expressing my fears of losing the great people in my life.

Friends are the flowers
in the garden of life.
Beginning with a seed of trust, 
nurtured with laughter and tears,
growing into loyalty and love.

– Author Unknown

Truer words are hard to find.  When asked how to explain what friendship is, one can easily direct someone to a fancy dictionary, but you will be left disappointed.  A garden has space for a multitude of flowers; some are annuals, biennials and so forth and then many of them end up being perennials, and to me, the people a cherish are like Proteas.

The proteaceae family is among the oldest families of flowers on earth (dating back millions of years) and consists of approximately 1660 species – varying in shapes, colours and sizes – and in fact, the protea got its name because of the variety of flowers.  It is said that the flower was named after Proteus, the son of the Greek god Poseidon, because of his propensity for assuming new shapes or altering his appearance.

My friends are unique and each of them has a space in my garden.  Some fits a King Protea or Queen Protea and others family of the pincushions.  Of course there is the rare Serruria Florida X Rosea.  Each have their special place in the garden of life.

Proteas will grow with very little effort, provided they are positioned in the correct climate and you just give them what they need.  And just like you should not disturb a Protea’s roots, respect and appreciate the roots of your friends.  Allow it air to breathe and do not smother it as the roots will rot and the protea will die.  Don’t judge their past.

Embrace them because every Protea is beautiful.  Allow their roots to penetrate deep into your soil because every protea generate spectacular flowers that attract iridescent sun birds, and so will your friends attract great memories into your life!

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Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things.  The friends in my life, fills my garden and my heart!  Some perished and it still hurts,  but I am blessed with the greatest gift to have my friends and I treasure them! When I see them, I feel alive.  It feels like everything will be OK.  It feels like everything is worth it.

One day I may die without saying good bye to you. But I will never forget to say thank you, because you hold the most loveliest part in my life.  And lastly, to my friends…  Friendship is not a label, but my promise to you.

What-If Woes

Posted: April 18, 2018 in Current

In our lifetime, we almost daily find the proverbial fork in the road where we must make decisions or take actions that can change the rest of our lives.  Sometimes circumstances even force you into a direction where you have no choice but need to adapt.

Days, weeks, months, even years can pass before we find ourselves questioning our actions even though we are frequently told not to brood over past events.

What if… my dad didn’t pass away when he did?  How would it have affected my personality?  How different would my life have been?  Would I have been a greater success or a greater failure?

What if I finished my studies? Would I be overworked?  Would I be unemployed?  What if I got married when I was younger?  Would I still be married, or be divorced?  Would I have kids now?   Would I be a good father figure – a hero to my kids?  Or would I be a dad that would’ve been a bad influence and destroyed their future?

What if I never chatted on online mediums?  Where would I have been today?  What if I never moved away… or moved back?  Would I still have had access to great people I have met?  Would I have been more miserable if I stayed?  What if I never resigned?  Would I have made a success?

The what-if curse is endless.  The what-if burden is powerful.  We cannot predict the future and we do not have the luxury to turn back time to see where the other roads will lead.  I suppose it is true what they say:  Make the most of what you have.

My life could’ve been much different in many aspects.  But at the end, I also know irrespective of the path you have taken, there are blessings on each road.

There are many things I could’ve done better.  There are many bad decisions in my life.  Many of them, I still make today.  But I have been blessed with great people with moving, great people with the online community, great people I have met now, great people I have worked with in the past (magnificent people to be honest) and I have been blessed with people that were willing to take a chance on me up to this day!

A water molecule does not only flow in a single river, but ends up the in the oceans, evaporate, rain in a distant country, flows in a different country, ends up in a dam, and eventually ends up in the oceans again to start the process all over again. This is what life is all about.  Be the raindrop that sustains life and don’t focus on unimportant things.  What-if is past.  What-I-can is what you need to focus on.  Count your blessings as they are endless!

Hotel Obscurité, Room 2017

Posted: December 31, 2017 in Current

Every day, we face different challenges and obstacles, and the year 2017 did not disappoint in this regards. Every day we experience the good, the bad and the ugly of mankind.  This can range from disrespecting another person or person’s property because of your aggressive and selfish nature to seeing how a person can put their wellbeing aside for a being as small as a fingertip.  Unfortunately, the bad in people tend to rise whilst the best in people are oppressed, maybe out of fear.  The streets are filled with these creatures.

But, at the end of the day, I leave the streets and enter Hotel Obscurité, through the lobby, into the escalator that always plays the music I love.  When the doors open on the floor where my hotel room is, I am greeted by peace and quiet where I can calmly walk to my door without the rush of outside.

As I enter my hotel room and I slump down on the bed, and close my eyes, I try to forget the ugly that the day brought forth, and try to imagine a place where the call of whales and the gentle breeze of nature massaging my senses.

In 2017, the school of life made me realize a few things:

  • I can tolerate being disappointed by close friends or family, but I find it harder to handle if I disappoint the people I truly cherish in life.
  • Being blood does not make you family or give you the surety that family members will respect you or your property.  And the same goes for friends.
  • Friendships that lasted over years don’t necessarily mean they are your best.  People grow apart.  People change.
  • Long lost friendships are sometimes worth to find again.
  • Sometimes, loving someone so much that you will sacrifice your own happiness for theirs, are NOT easy, yet seeing how they are happy, makes it all worthwhile.

Hotel Obscurité is my safe haven.  It is the place I don’t have explain or to pretend.  It is the place where I can remove the mask and be myself.  The place I can just be me.  Between these four walls, I find solace in the darkness that surrounds me.  Just like crying in the rain, the hotel hides a heart filled with sorrow.  No questions… no explanations.  The darkness hides the shadows and silhouettes of the past.

Staying at Hotel Obscurité does come at a cost….  Sometimes protecting the people you love and cherish by your actions, you often lose that friendship/relationship and distance grows slowly to a point where you become strangers.  The hardest part is that I can still remember every single name and face of the ones that took a little bit of me.  Saying I am not a whole being, is an understatement.  Lots of my past chipped away and slowly took more and more of me.

Hiding in the shadows of the hotel room, is where no-one can see the scars.  In this hotel room, the monster is unknown to others.  In this hotel room, I can replay the good memories to the sounds of nature.  The past is what made me who I am today – good and bad, but I can be honest about it.



What Have Become Of Us

Posted: July 18, 2017 in Current

Lately, I have found myself becoming anti-social for numerous reasons.  I try not to rant and rave about these reasons on this medium, but sometimes people just push the right buttons.  I am talking about deceit, judgmental mentalities, assumptions, manipulation, disrespect and the general lack of moral values.

I have been lied to and being manipulated to force an issue so many times.  And I allowed it because I always believed people are better than what they are, it seems.  This is frustrating because more often than not, they base their decisions on their perceptions.  This drives me up the wall and makes me lose faith in mankind!  There are good and pure out there though!

I follow a few blogs, I read some of the posts that intrigue me, and then, there are writers where I almost read every post they post – purely because of their approach, their content and because you can feel (and often relate) to the emotion in what they put to paper.

Recently, I have found a blogger that I follow and read almost every post this person writes.  This writer writes fantastic posts, based on her life experiences.  One of her posts she writes about a disorder often forced upon society by marketing houses.   She defeated and overcame this disorder and has become a beautiful individual – inside and out.  During her time battling with the disorder, I can guarantee she got judged by many.  Now, after she is not a victim but a survivor, she gets judged because she didn’t tip the scale to the other side.  The typical “damned if you do; damned if you don’t” scenario!

How can a human being define you based on your race, gender, weight, language, religion or nationality? Being a Muslim does not make you a racist, just as much as speaking Afrikaans does not make you an oppressor!  Being white does not make you a racist or being black doesn’t make you a thug!

We are so focussed to label people that we have lost touch of compassion towards one another.  We are too focussed on our perceptions and opinions than to try and understand their point of view or believes.  But where does that leave people of pure heart and good intentions?  Is there a place at all in society for people like that?  Even being pure and innocent is now questioned by society with “What is wrong with you?”!

By reading this blogger’s posts I have realised why I become more anti-social and more attached to animals.  There are the gems out there, that shaped and formed to become who they are today, despite (and maybe because of) the pressures on them in the past, but these gems are very, very rare.

At the end, I realised that we, as the so-called “superior” species, have regressed into a despicable monster that thrives like a parasite on the goodness of others just to feel better about ourselves, whilst animals and the few gems constantly adapt to merely survive from day to day, appreciating what every day has to offer.


Posted: July 15, 2017 in Current
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The unspoken words…

From a young age, we learn words and their meanings.  We are taught proper pronunciation and effective use of words, and the importance of communication in every aspect in life on a daily basis.  Words are the building blocks of expression, the peacemakers or the declaration of war, and collectively single words start forming sentences and paragraphs.  Yet, here I struggle to find the correct words, sentences, paragraphs to make a single statement.  I know what I feel and I know what I want to say, but I am tongue-tied and barely stutter a single noun at a time. I find myself repeating the same message, yet it feels like I did not express it correctly.

Why is it so difficult?  Is it because I know the words cannot relief pain or stress?  Is it because words might not seem sincere enough?  Perhaps the words don’t justify my intentions.  All I know is what filled my brain, got stuck in my throat.

And what if ‘it comes out wrong’?  What if it is misinterpreted?  What if my words fail and fill you with disappointment?  Yet, silence unfortunately communicate as well.  And often, it can convey the total opposite.  So, here I find myself in a dilemma where I have so much to say, but in fear that it will add to your burden, I keep silent.

The screaming silence…

Full Moon

Unnoticed, trying to light up the journey

At night, like the moon, I watch over you from a distance, caring and trying to eliminate any shadow that might be cast in your path.  Illuminate as much as possible for you to know I am near; to know I care; to know that you do not need to ask, I will be there – always and forever.  During the day, like the sun to give you warmth; to have the golden light reflect from nature’s beauty to fill your eyes with serenity and happiness.  This never-ending cycle is the easiest to explain it. Time is irrelevant because day or night, I will be there for you.

Whenever you feel it gets too much, I am present and close-by.  When you wish to vent or need someone just to know you are not alone, I am there.  When you need a listening ear to try and get your mind off every day hassles, you will have my undivided attention. and whenever you smile, that magic will be a lasting memory.  Your happiness will relfect the moon bigger and brighter and the sun brighter than ever before. Date or time is irrelevant.  Size or subject does not matter.  I am a decision away.

If you want to scream till your voice fade, or need a shoulder as support just to remind you that are and never will be alone, you never need to look far.  There are many sayings about words, but one that comes to mind is the famous quote: “Actions speaks louder than words”.  And as my words fail to express, may my actions and intentions be my unspoken, timeless oath to you.