I haven’t posted anything in a very long time, and I suppose there are many reasons for it.  As soon as I think I will frequent the blog more often, life happens.  And since I started with this blog, I have truly attempted to keep it to the positive side as life is negative enough as it is.

Unfortunately, it is not always possible.  The past few weeks has been ‘interesting’ to say the least.  A lot of things changed and now I find myself lost – not sure where I belong.  I know they say change is as good as a holiday, but to be brutally honest, I think I would rather prefer a holiday right now – just find myself in the right mindset again.

Today has been draining – physically and mentally – to a point where I am not sure if all these years where I have made attempts to be more positive about life and everything in it, was even worth it.  Apart from doubting myself, I doubt others as well.  I question every word and every action.  That by itself is already demoralizing.  But it is just one of those days that many people experience more often than they would like to admit.

Not Waving but Drowning

Stevie Smith – 1902-1971

Nobody heard him, the dead man,

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he’s dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning.

How does one find yourself in a better place?  How does one pull yourself back to your feet and hold your chin up?  How does one see past the darkness?  Where does one find inspiration to love life again?  Those are the questions I struggle to find answers to.  Of late it is easier to see the negative than the good in anything.

How does some do it?  I am not talking about putting up a smile and pretend nothing is wrong.  I have aced that art just to keep people from asking questions I do not have answers to, or that I am not ready to answer.  I am a master at that.  I am talking about people that really have been thrown to the wolves, and yet, they seem energetic and filled with positivity.  I just cannot get to that level.

Lost and alone… My mind is a chaos-filled battlefield where no good can come from.  Even good intentions are frowned upon and questioned.   I am worried for what may come and I am anxious about what the future may hold.  I am scared like I haven’t been in a while.

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My Wish For You… 2019 And Beyond

Posted: December 31, 2018 in Current
Tags: ,

I have not posted in a while… perhaps I was too tired, or I just couldn’t find the time, or I just lacked the inspiration.  Perhaps 2018 took a bigger toll out of me than what I originally thought.

Thinking back about 2018, I am not sure if there is anything great that stand out, but also not anything really detrimental stand out.  If I had to pinpoint one thing that stands out for me this year, is a quote I read online.  Quite an awesome story attached to it.  The quote is as follows:

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- 

If you have never read the story about this wish above, please google it!

And so I find myself bidding farewell to friends I have known for ages, but life happened and our roads parted.  I find myself making wishes to friends and family, more often than not, these wishes will never reach them.

My mistakes of the past seems to be backseat drivers in my life.  I often push people I really got close to, away because I am afraid I mke the same mistakes.  It doesn’t mean I never think of them.  I always have them on my mind and I always wish them the best.

Alas, I wish you all a great 2019, full of great surprises and reasons to smile.  I wish you to appreciate your loved ones or people in your life.  They are sacred gifts.  They are like the oxygen in your life… you don’t always get to see their importance, but you need them in your life.

Happy New Year everyone!

 

 

More often than not, the human race shows what demonic beast it can be.  Greed, corruption, racism, hatred, intolerance, and the list goes on and on!  Sometimes to the point where people prefer to avoid people than to engage with them.

But then…

A devastating fire absorbs a place called The Pilanesberg National Park (situated in the North West Province in South Africa, and roughly 570 square kilometers in size). Fittingly nicknamed “The Gem in the North West” where people often go to escape the every day life!  A place where nature surrounds you with beautiful scenery and the natural orchestra of animal calls.  It is a sanctuary not only for wildlife, but also for the sanity of some people.

As the fire continued its destructive path, it is evident how many people where heartbroken about the devastation.  Social media on several groups and pages cried for help and as you read the comments, you can feel the emotion and helplessness of everyone!

For some of us, it is an escape from the rat race.  Even a coping mechanism to cope as a matter of speaking with life.  I can even go so far as to call it my meditation!  For most of us that have visited Pilanesberg, it is the purest kind of joy!

Photographers and animal/nature lovers all are sharing their pain and emotions in one voice!  Each understood what the other felt!  No racial, religious, ethnic or language barriers or conflicts!  All over the world, everyone that has been to Pilanesberg are pleading in one language!  One voice!  One emotion!  United!  They are a unique kind of human!  Each one of these special people had one focus! The Pilanesberg National Park with all of its fauna, flora, staff and volunteers that were affected!

Everyone concerned, eager and willing to help where one can! Currently, the Park needs all the help it can get, whether it is volunteers or financial support to purchase bales or access to vet care, or rebuilding infrastructure!  If you know someone that can assist or if you are in the position to assist or support, please direct your browser to https://pilanesbergwildlifetrust.co.za.

PS:  If you have never visited Pilanesberg National Park, put it on your bucket list!  You will not regret it!

Pilanesberg NEVER disappointed me with sightings!

A Miracle’s Eclipse

Posted: August 13, 2018 in Current
Tags: , ,

Miracles… Is it fact or fiction?  Is miracles a figment of our imagination?  Or do we ignore a miracle because we cannot explain it?  Many online sources define a miracle as a “physically” impossible event.  Even each religion has its own classification of it.  But the question is, what you believe to be a miracle?

250 years ago, a human flying 30,000 feet in the air was believed to be impossible (a miracle perhaps) and now thousands of people travel by air daily.  Does it make it less of a miracle?

Perhaps the miracle was wrongly ‘diagnosed’ all those years.  Maybe the miracle wasn’t in the actual flying, but in the intellect that made it possible?  We are in the 21st century and yet, we cannot replicate a human brain’s capacity or function!

Life itself, is a miracle that happens every single day.  We can scientifically explain it, but it doesn’t make it any less extraordinary.  Irrespective of your religion or whether you a flat-earther or big-bang-theorist, no matter how hard you try, miracles will not be any less a miracle than what it was at the beginning.

The universe’s design was flawless in the beginning and still is flawless and will always be flawless.  Supernovae and blackholes, as destructive as they are described to be, created just as much!  The beauty unmatched – untainted by human touch.
Lunar Eclipse 20180727
During 2018, we had the longest lunar eclipse of this century, and it made me realize how insignificant we are.  Not because we are flawed by design, but merely because we do not use our capacity and appreciate the universe for what it is.  During this lunar eclipse, there were a substantial number of photographers (amateur and pro alike) that endured a freezing night to appreciate hours of this breath-taking event happening thousands and thousands of miles away.  And I wondered how many people appreciated the daily routine of life and the universe.

We all focussed our long lenses to the moon and were fixated on it.  After a few photos, my lens’ focussing mechanism malfunctioned to a point where I could not get any decent photos anymore, but instead of packing up, I still enjoyed the view.  Then I realized that the universe was not just a single speck of reflected light, but that our whole sky was filled with miracles!  I quickly changed from a super-telephoto lens to a wide-angle lens and saw the most amazing milky way. Galaxies upon galaxies of miracles!  Always there, but we never take the time to look up anymore.

MilkyWay 20180727When last have you lied on your back, simply to forget the rat-race and appreciate the stars?  When last have you spent time to take a walk in a natural environment.  Sadly, the natural environment is now a place, fenced off and declining because of our selfish ways.  Believe me, it is one of the most beautiful sights!

Imagine one day without sun, a year without rain or soil without nutrients.  How would we survive?  If the Architect of the universe didn’t work in His miraculous ways, we would not have existed.  If we do not learn to coexist with nature (fauna and flora), we are destined to fail this earth and ourselves!  Every single organism has its place and purpose on earth.  And humans do too, but unlike nature that keeps thing simple but balanced, we overcomplicate things and destroy things for the immediate gain, instead of learning and growing alongside the universe.

We were given the privilege of choice, yet instead of building and growing to become even more miraculous, we chose to build for selfish greed and destroying everything just for a quick buck.  We are addicted to comfort and greed, irrespective of its cost.  The human factor is destroying miracles.  It is a sad reality the we face, yet we turn a blind eye.  Why? Because I believe in our subconscious we are ashamed!
Perhaps we will learn from our mistakes one day, and that may be classified as a miracle!

Universal Love Letter

Posted: June 15, 2018 in Current

In our human nature of overcomplicating the simplest of things, time is becoming more and more a “luxury that a few of us can afford” or that is the excuses we use. However, is it not our selfish nature that refuses us this priceless commodity? Do we manage our time efficiently? Do we make the effort to spend time with one another?

Take a moment and think of your commute to work this morning. What can you remember? Did you see the sickle moon? Did you gaze at the beautiful sunrise? Or did you look at your watch because the person driving a little distance ahead is not driving according to your preferred speed?

Sadly, our ratrace nature is a reality! And our time is spent on irrelevant things instead of the moments and people that make life worth living. And with us going through life blind, I wondered what my biggest regret will be in life that was time-bound: not making time for a loved one.

So here is my universal love-letter to you:

The early sun rose and awakened my forgotten self from my sleep, but I retreated to the darkness under my duvet, because I just want to sleep 5 more minutes. A much longer time have past, and when I rose to my feet I had to scramble to get ready for the day ahead. No time for conversation nor looking at what the day brought forth. Instead I lunged into my daily activities, relying on muscle-memory as my interest is at home where I can close my eyes again to sleep again. My only thought is that I just need to rush through everything to complete my daily tasks to put food on the table.

Years went past. I thought my memory faded, but my memory is in tact… it is the events and memories that were amiss. Today, my subconscious awoken from its slumber before sunrise. It drawn the curtains back to see the golden hour in your glowing smile and mesmerizing eyes. It is absolutely breathtaking. Life stopped in that moment. You are you… just perfect like you are now! Suddenly, a fire within rages uncontrolably, with this pure love for you

The subconscious did not stop there… as the day kicked off on a high note, the roses’ aroma filled the garden and the birds sang love songs as beautiful as ever. It was visible everywhere. The subconscious was in the untainted garden of eden and the promised land!  The thoughts of you are like an orchestra playing the best ever masterpiece and the neurons fire enchantedly along, connecting new pathways and erasing scartissues from the past.

Even at the end of the day, the sunset was not a carbon-copy of the sunrise, it was unique in every way. Clouds were present but did not jade the beauty, it perfected it. The gentle clouds was as gentle and smooth as your skin.  One want to touch, but just every so softly as not to disturb the beauty.

But fear set into the subconscious … if the light fades, it will hide your beauty. It will only be darkness, and a cold and lonely place.  But the subconscious had no reason to fear.

147A0108As darkness covered all, the skies lit up with stars, planets, galaxies and made its presence known. You were still there! The aurora display shown the subconscious that it is there to protect and that being beautiful doesn’t mean you can’t protect and be strong. The milky way ignited and displayed the night sky rainbow in all its glory showing that hope is always around.  Your supernova-heart exploded and created new beginnings and new feelings.  My subconscious realized that between the stars wasn’t empty space, but opportunities to explore more; learn more; appreciate more.

All the signs were there every single moment. All this was accessible and available every single moment- night and day, but at the same time the conscious part decided to overcomplicate things and have a blind eye that may make me seem weak. Our insecurities and our selfish nature got the better of us and blinded us.  Years lost.  Moments lost forever!

Friends, if you love someone, tell them. Let them know! Keeping quiet, or even allowing external factors to rob you from your precious time, will be the biggest injustice you can do to yourself or your loved one!

Love is not limited to perfection. Love is being honest and sincere. Love is being able to forgive the little human errors we make. Love is taking note of your partner and not take them for granted. Love is not a business contract, it is unconditional. Love is not changing someone to suit you, but finding the strengths and weaknesses of another and simply to make it work.  Love is not being weak!  Love is respect, hope, acceptance and forgiveness.  Love is underrated.  Love is finding that one that you can’t imagine being without; missing them as they leave for work or do errands.
Love is the true meaning of happiness.

And if you are lucky enough to find “the one”, tell them that you love them and mean it… tell them you love them by your actions, every day, every moment.

There is of course the absolute romantic gestures that can cost a pretty penny, but it is not limited to currencies!  To show your respect, appreciation and love is absolutely free.  AND it makes you feel alive! It makes you look forward to tomorrow.

Showing someone that you love them does not mean you need to fork out almost your whole salary.  Love is not a commercial entity.  It is an emotional bond.  Kissing someone on the forehead or hugging them for no apparent reason can be all that is needed.  Finding a little wild flower and just doing the little effort to pick it, can show love.  Ways to show someone you love them, is only limited to your imagination!

I love you.

Proteaceae Amicitia

Posted: May 7, 2018 in Current
Tags: , , ,

So I read the following on a social media platform.  “If you want to learn what someone fears losing the most, watch what they photograph”.  This got me thinking!

I hate taking photos of people because I place myself in their shoes and you always get the “my eyes are always droopy/drunk”-shot or the non-flattering poses.  So I found an alternative way of expressing my fears of losing the great people in my life.

Friends are the flowers
in the garden of life.
Beginning with a seed of trust, 
nurtured with laughter and tears,
growing into loyalty and love.

– Author Unknown

Truer words are hard to find.  When asked how to explain what friendship is, one can easily direct someone to a fancy dictionary, but you will be left disappointed.  A garden has space for a multitude of flowers; some are annuals, biennials and so forth and then many of them end up being perennials, and to me, the people a cherish are like Proteas.

The proteaceae family is among the oldest families of flowers on earth (dating back millions of years) and consists of approximately 1660 species – varying in shapes, colours and sizes – and in fact, the protea got its name because of the variety of flowers.  It is said that the flower was named after Proteus, the son of the Greek god Poseidon, because of his propensity for assuming new shapes or altering his appearance.

My friends are unique and each of them has a space in my garden.  Some fits a King Protea or Queen Protea and others family of the pincushions.  Of course there is the rare Serruria Florida X Rosea.  Each have their special place in the garden of life.

Proteas will grow with very little effort, provided they are positioned in the correct climate and you just give them what they need.  And just like you should not disturb a Protea’s roots, respect and appreciate the roots of your friends.  Allow it air to breathe and do not smother it as the roots will rot and the protea will die.  Don’t judge their past.

Embrace them because every Protea is beautiful.  Allow their roots to penetrate deep into your soil because every protea generate spectacular flowers that attract iridescent sun birds, and so will your friends attract great memories into your life!

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Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things.  The friends in my life, fills my garden and my heart!  Some perished and it still hurts,  but I am blessed with the greatest gift to have my friends and I treasure them! When I see them, I feel alive.  It feels like everything will be OK.  It feels like everything is worth it.

One day I may die without saying good bye to you. But I will never forget to say thank you, because you hold the most loveliest part in my life.  And lastly, to my friends…  Friendship is not a label, but my promise to you.